Interesting piece by Kevin McCullough on the Edwards situation. Though it only looks at it from his wife's perspective. The fact that there are young children is a whole other overriding reason Edwards should put his political life on hold.
For the record, I would have never, nor will I ever support John Edwards as a candidate. I fundamentally disagree with him on nearly every issue that can be raised. Having said that I was one of the handful who felt that when Ann Coulter slimed him as a closeted homosexual that it was immensely unfair. Given the fact that so few of the GOP candidates are on their original marriages, and given the fact that the Edwards did lose a son in an extremely heartbreaking way... I just thought fair is fair - and coming from a near 40 year old woman who most likely will never know the sacrifice of raising and loving children that it was over the top... and I said so.
Given that context, I do think the Edwards are making a huge mistake, and most particularly John is making that mistake.
Putting the politics of the matter aside completely (for I would have the same hesitation in my soul if a Republican did it as well), I opened the phone lines on this topic yesterday. I originally thought that there would be some fairly intense back and forth - and we would move on. What I discovered, and feel is very important, is that men and women viewed yesterday's announcement very differently.
Men callers were predictable, "Look, she says she's going to be fine, and she doesn't want him passing up the chance of a lifetime."
And it's possible the men are right. The doctor didn't give a specific time-frame and there is supposedly a 90% chance of five year survival. Why should that stop what he's doing for the next 20 months? Spending 18-20 hours a day campaigning, and most of it far from home?
Women callers were much more analytical and emotional about the announcement, "Of course, no loving wife, and sacrificial mother is going to insist that her private pain trump the desires of the man she's loved for all these years. Of course she would tell him to go on with life, plans, dreams."
But nearly to a person the female callers to my show yesterday revealed a bit more, "But in her heart of hearts - we women truly do want to be the focus of our man's world... Our lips will often times speak things that are different than what our hearts truly long for."
I thought it telling that these viewpoints broke down across GENDER lines, not political ones.
Some disclosure here, my great-grandmother, my mother, and my mother-in-law all died of breast cancer. My mother died when I was 17 - after a 2 year fight, and my mother in law died in 2005 - she battled for 10 years. Once the cancer reoriginates itself - as in Elizabeth Edwards case - to the bones, it truly is - uncurable. Seeing a two, five, or ten year life possibility in front of you - is not what it seems. Much of that time will be lived in pain - either from the cancer itself or in the pursuit of the different treatments for it.
I will make my own disclosure - my own grandmother died exatly as described above and McCullough is definitely right here. Most of Elizabeth Edwards time left is not gonna be pleasant and her kids will need someone there.
I asked the female listeners to my show what words they would want to hear come out of their husbands mouth after learning of this serious development in her illness - if they were Elizabeth. Not a single one of them said, "The campaign goes on strong!"
The sad thing here is that Edwards will never again have to work a day in his life. He has the resources to make Elizabeth's journey through this season the most amazing it could ever be. He could spend her final years with her, with their children, making dreams come true. And don't underestimate the toll this WILL take on the children as well. They need parents who are united, in purpose - and in person.
He's running an ever distant third in a true two-way race. He hasn't drawn the crowds or the cash that he had hoped by this stage of the game. And if Elizabeth did only have 10 years of life left (which would be considered long term success for the type of cancer she has) he would still be plenty young enough to re-emerge and take another run at it.
I'm not judging the Edwards, they have my prayers for recovery, but I do think they may be missing something extremely important...
Just because Elizabeth may betray her own heart with words of support for her husband, nothing should get in the way of his ability to overwhelm her with the central idea - that she is more important to him than anything on earth.
Especially a meat-grinder for the next 20 months where he would get to see her only minimally...
kevinmccullough.townhall.com
Being charitable, the Edwards family may be in denial of the seriousness of the situation now and he may change his mind later when confronted by reality. |
