This is a copy of a newspaper column that was in the paper yesterday. It was written by Rick Horowitz, and I thought you would enjoy it. It was entitled: It's elementary, Dick and Tom
See Dick.
See Dick run.
Run Dick, run., Run for your life.
Why does Dick run? Because Dick's friends are chasing him. They want to string him up by his thumbs.
String, string, string.
Dick's friends are mad at Dick. They wanted Dick to throw a big house party. They wanted Dick's house party to be bigger than anyone else's house party.
Dick's friends have been waiting for Dick's big house party for eight years.
Wait friends, wait.
Eight years is a long time. Wait friends, wait.
Dick's friends are sick of waiting. Dick's friends want someone else to throw the big house party.
Dick can take a hint.
Maybe Dick will run for president. Maybe Dick will be the president.
Maybe cats will speak Italian.
See Tom.
See Tom frown.
Frown, Tom, frown. Frown, and be sad.
Why is Tom sad? Because Tom's friends are carping at him.
Carp, carp, carp.
Tom and his friends were in charge of something. They hoped Tom would help them stay in charge of something.
Hope, friends, hope.
Tom and his friends got their butts kicked.
Ouch!
Tom's friends aren't mad at Tom. Tom's friends are disappointed in Tom. They wish Tom had done things differently.
Wish, wish, wish.
They wish Tom had moved them to the right.
They wish Tom had moved them to the left.
They wish Tom had moved them to the right and to the left.
Can you see why Tom is frowning?
Maybe Tom will run for president. Maybe Tom will be the president.
Maybe muffins will dance the Macarena.
See George.
See George smile from ear to ear.
Smile, George, smile. Smile and be contented.
Why does George smile? Because George is sitting on top of the world.
George can cut taxes. Cut, George, cut.
George can name judges. Name, George, name.
George can drill for oil. Drill, George, drill.
That isn't even the best part.
George can see Dick's friends chasing Dick. George can see Tom's friends carping at Tom.
George can see Dick's friends and Tom's friends tearing themselves apart looking for a way to wipe that smile off George's face.
That's the best part.
See George giggle. |
