Best of the Web Today - February 19, 2004
By JAMES TARANTO
The Drill of Victory
On Friday John Kerry's campaign issued a statement criticizing a "new Bush attack ad," which portrays Kerry as a tool of "special interests." Spokeswoman Stephanie Cutter proclaimed that "John Kerry has a proven record of standing up to the very special interests George Bush caves [in] to." President Kerry, she adds, "will continue to fight," among others, "the big oil companies who are trying to drill in the Alaskan Wilderness."
But Tuesday night on "Hardball," a representative of another special interest that favors drilling in the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge, Teamsters honcho James Hoffa, told host Chris Matthews that Kerry has told him otherwise:
Matthews: How about ANWR? You guys want to see ANWR because you want to see guys working in your business. I guess there's a lot of Teamsters jobs up there lined up and organized, if you could put a pipeline up to the Alaska wilderness. [Kerry] is against that.
Hoffa: Well, we talked about that. He says, look, I am against ANWR, but I am going to put that pipeline in and we're going to drill like never before. . . .
Matthews: But he is against drilling up there. What are they going to run through the pipeline?
Hoffa: Well, they are going to drill all over, according to him. And he says, we're going to be drilling all over the United States. And he says that is going to create more jobs.
"Who is going to be boss if he gets in there, you or him?" Matthews then asks Hoffa. "It sounds like you are the boss."
An Instapundit reader believes Hoffa was "kidding," because other guests on the show laughed; but several fellow readers disagree, saying the other panelists were laughing at Matthews's incredulity. Given Kerry's propensity for taking both sides of just about every major issue depending on what seems opportune at the moment, Hoffa's claim certainly has the ring of truth.
Free Legal Advice, a Bargain at Twice the Price
In the wake of last week's kerfuffle over rumors that John Kerry had an affair with a young woman named Alexandra Polier, Clinton consigliere Sidney Blumenthal, writing in London's Guardian, weighs in with some exquisitely bad advice for the haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, who by the way served in Vietnam: He should sue the Sun, a London tabloid that reported on the story after it appeared on the Drudge report:
In the US, there is virtually no legal protection for a public figure, especially a political one, from defamation. Libel laws are de facto defunct. Public opinion is inevitably swayed by this tainting, all journalism has fallen under suspicion and truth cannot easily be distinguished from malicious fiction. Only if Kerry (or Polier) were to sue the Sun under British libel law, for example, would this transatlantic corruption of the press be truly engaged. Then a British court would begin to set important rules in American politics.
When it comes to U.S. libel law, Blumenthal knows of what he speaks. He sued Matt Drudge for repeating an unfounded rumor about him (Drudge had quickly issued a retraction), and, as we noted in May 2001, Blumenthal ended up paying Drudge to settle the case. Britain has no New York Times v. Sullivan, and consequently it's much easier for a plaintiff to win a libel action.
But if Kerry wants to be president--and we suspect he does--he would be well advised to concentrate on running against George W. Bush, not Matt Drudge. Fairly or not, such a lawsuit would draw public attention away from the substance of the campaign, and Kerry's attention from campaigning.
Blumenthal begins his essay in a conspiratorial vein:
One question remains unanswered about the politically inspired lie that Senator John Kerry had had an affair with an "intern." Which interested source planted it with the rightwing internet hooligan Matt Drudge and with the conservative British newspapers that put it into wide public play?
Well, according to both Drudge and Thomas Oliphant of the Boston Globe, the man who advanced this rumor was not "rightwing" at all; it was goofball general Wesley Clark, who before deserting the race last week was widely regarded as the Clintons' favorite candidate. Two can play at this conspiracy-theory game; could it be that Blumenthal's legal advice and Clark's rumor mongering are both part of a Clintonian effort to sabotage Kerry so as to clear the decks for Hillary in 2008?
Mr. Populist
"Sen. John F. Kerry sent 28 letters in behalf of a San Diego defense contractor who pleaded guilty last week to illegally funneling campaign contributions to the Massachusetts senator and four other congressmen," the Los Angeles Times reports:
Between 1996 and 1999, Kerry participated in a letter-writing campaign to free up federal funds for a guided missile system that defense contractor Parthasarathi "Bob" Majumder was trying to build for U.S. warplanes. . . .
Kerry's letters were sent to fellow members of Congress--and to the Pentagon--while Majumder and his employees were donating money to the senator, court records show. During the three-year period, Kerry received about $25,000 from Majumder and his employees, according to Dwight L. Morris & Associates, which tracks campaign donations.
Court documents say the contractor told his employees they needed to make political contributions in order for him to gain influence with members of Congress. He then reimbursed them with proceeds from government contracts.
Federal prosecutors initially determined that $13,000 of the donations were illegally reimbursed, but they now say that nearly all of the money was tainted.
Important caveat: The prosecutors "said there was no evidence Kerry or other members of Congress would have known" the contributions were illegal. But, the Times notes, "as the Democratic presidential front-runner, Kerry has promoted himself as a candidate who has never been beholden to campaign contributors and special interests." As we've said before, stories like this make such a claim look even more ridiculous than it does on its face.
What Liberal Media?
"Kerry's remarks lasted three minutes, yet it left TV reporters without a soundbite until one CBS News producer asked the Massachusetts senator to try again."--Boston Globe, reporting on a Dayton, Ohio, campaign appearance by John Kerry, Feb. 19
Can Edwards Afford to Go On?
Walter Olson of Overlawyered.com points out that money may be an obstacle to John Edwards's hopes of overtaking John Kerry in the race for the Democratic nomination. Olson quotes a Jan. 21 Washington Post article:
The North Carolina senator has received a higher percentage of large donations than any other major candidate--83 percent were between $1,000 and $2,000, the maximum allowed by law. Many of these donations came from plaintiffs' attorneys, members of Edwards's former profession. This means that many of Edwards's donors have 'maxed out' and can give no more money. For Edwards to become fully competitive in the race for cash, he will have to find new contributors beyond his trial-lawyer base.
Adds Olson: "Even many of the paralegals, receptionists, bankrupt support staffers of law firms and their nonvoting husbands have maxed out." Olson, scourge of the trial lawyers, has to be happy about this. Olson also points to the ludicrousness of Edwards's populist "two Americas" pitch:
Edwards's self-reinvention as the candidate of trade protectionism has provided another reason for sensible voters to steer clear of him. As Alex Tabarrok notes: "In his stump speech, John Edwards is fond of empathizing with the plight of a 10-year old girl 'somewhere in America,' who goes to bed 'praying that tomorrow will not be as cold as today, because she doesn't have the coat to keep her warm.' Yet, as John Tierney points out, 'clothing has become so cheap and plentiful (partly because of textile imports, which Mr. Edwards has proposed to limit) that there is a glut of second-hand clothing, and consequently most clothing donated to charity is shipped abroad. The second-hand children's coats that remain in America typically sell for about $5 in thrift shops.' "
Homer Nods
California's Democratic Party allows all voters who are not affiliated with another political party to vote in their presidential primary, contrary to our item yesterday. Page 17 of the California voter guide (link in PDF format) notes that such unaffiliated voters can vote in the Democratic primary for all offices except county central committee members. The GOP, on the other hand, does not allow unaffiliated Californians to vote in its presidential primary.
False Alarm?
"Investigators seeking the source of the ricin detected two weeks ago in a Senate office building have raised the possibility that the positive test that forced the evacuation of lawmakers and staff members may have been caused by paper byproducts, not the deadly poison," NBC News reports:
Sources familiar with the investigation, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that federal agents have found no source for the powder found in the mailroom of Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist's office.
In addition to the apparent absence of a means of delivery, suspicions that the positive test might have been a false alarm have been heightened by the fact that the amount of the powder initially believed to be ricin was very small, precluding the performance of a potency test by the labs that received samples.
A possible explanation for the positive reading also has emerged. The sources said that investigators have determined that non-toxic byproducts of the castor bean plant--the raw material for ricin--are sometimes used in making paper. Because tests performed on congressional mail are highly sensitive, they could have picked up minute traces of products derived from the castor plant--not actual ricin, according to this theory.
But the story has no new information on the two other putative ricin finds--one at a postal facility in South Carolina and the other at an offsite sorting location for White House mail.
The Road to Damascus
"Syria has sent messages to bitter foe Israel via Turkey offering to restart stalled peace talks between the two countries, Syrian Vice President Abdul Halim Khaddam said Wednesday," the Associated Press reports from Damascus. Yet there are still people who deny that the road to peace goes through Baghdad.
Weasel Watch
A Belgian court is hearing the appeal of Nizar Trabelsi's terrorism conviction. Trabelsi was sentenced to a whopping 10 years in prison for planning an attack on a Belgian military base, Agence France-Presse reports. Although Trabelsi has admitted the crime and stands by his confession, his lawyers "said they would argue that admitting to a crime is no proof."
"Trabelsi's appeal had originally been scheduled to open on Wednesday but the court delayed the first of eight planned hearings for a day when several detainees could not be taken to the courthouse because of a strike of Belgian police," AFP adds. Yeah, these guys are serious about fighting terrorism.
McCain-Feingold Meets Axis of Evil
"Tehran Shuts Down Papers Ahead of Election"--headline, Financial Times, Feb. 19
Three Cheers for the Redskins Cheerleaders
First Lt. David Hoe, a member of the U.S. Army's 608th Ordnance Company, has an inspiring letter to the editor in the Washington Post:
I want to thank the Washington Redskins cheerleaders for visiting us in Fallujah, Iraq, on Valentine's Day. I find it odd and impressive that the first entertainers to risk boarding a Black Hawk helicopter to fly into the most restive and hostile town in Iraq were cheerleaders. Not to discredit their visits, but we have all become accustomed to watching on TV as celebrities such as David Letterman, Robin Williams and WWE wrestlers land at the airport in Baghdad, smile for the cameras, entertain a few soldiers from the 1st Armored Division and then fly home.
The Redskins cheerleaders had the courage to take a daytime helicopter ride over Fallujah to visit with the soldiers who are fighting in the front lines of this war.
Sort of puts all the whining about the Redskins' "racist" name in perspective, doesn't it?
'Orangutan' Kerfuffle at Duke
Last Friday the Duke Chronicle, a student newspaper, published this correction, signed by editor Alex Garinger:
The Chronicle made an egregious error in the Feb. 12, 2004, edition by allowing the lead paragraph of the Duke-Virginia men's basketball game story, "Resilient Blue Devils slam UVa in second half," to include the sentence, "Luol Deng went up strong with his orangutan arms, like he always does." Although the author, Matt Sullivan, myself [sic] and the other editors working on the paper Wednesday night did not intend to invoke any racial stereotypes, we understand how many in our readership were deeply offended by the phrase and its inherent implications. Sullivan and the editors who copyedited the story should have recognized the incredibly poor choice of words and changed it immediately.
On behalf of myself and the rest of the Chronicle staff, I would like to sincerely apologize to Deng, the men's basketball team, Duke fans, the African-American community and all of our readers. Such ignorance is unacceptable at The Chronicle, and we are re-examining every part of our writing and editing processes to ensure that something of this level of insensitivity and thoughtlessness never happens again.
Sullivan, Sports Editor Mike Corey and myself are reaching out to various members of the Duke community, including via letters of apology to Deng, Head Coach Mike Krzyzewski and Athletics Director Joe Alleva. We have removed the offensive line from the online version of the article, and have initiated a sensitivity awareness discussion with the staff.
At one level, this is hilarious, but it's also a bit sad. It seems unlikely that Sullivan used the term "orangutan arms" out of any racial animus; orangutans do, in fact, have long, strong arms.
Granted, it was a bad choice of words, given that racists have been known to liken black people to lower primates. An apology was in order, but did it have to be so long-winded and groveling? (Note the adverbial overkill: "many in our readership were deeply offended . . . the incredibly poor choice of words . . . I would like to sincerely apologize.") And is a "sensitivity awareness discussion"--itself a redundancy--really necessary? Is there any doubt that, having been pilloried for their error, the student editors have already learned their lesson?
Zero-Continence Watch
"Some middle school students are avoiding soft drinks, water and other liquids during school hours for fear of an urgent need to answer nature's call," the Associated Press reports from Lawrence, N.J.:
Under a new policy at the Lawrence Middle School, seventh- and eighth-graders are allowed to leave class for the bathroom a maximum of 15 times a month. As a result, some are afraid to use up their bathroom passes too quickly and end up with a full bladder and nowhere to go. . . .
"When my son Matthew used all his passes, he was then told he couldn't go to the bathroom," parent Susan Gregory told The Times of Trenton. "We called the school and were told the bathroom is a privilege, not a right. Then we were told if a child has to go to the bathroom more than three times a day, we need (to bring them) a doctor's note.
"This is utterly ridiculous. Now my son doesn't want to go to the bathroom at school," she said. "He says he won't drink or he'll hold it until he gets home. This can't be healthy."
Urologists say the practice can lead to infections and incontinence.
The school's principal, by the way, is named Nancy Pitcher.
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It's the Eponymy, Stupid
Yesterday's item on Prof. Dwight Duffus, Emory University's math and computer science chairman, brought this letter, from a reader who's a real Duffus himself:
My name is Chris Duffus, and I am a daily reader of your Best of the Web column and enjoy it very much. Just wanted to make you aware of the correct pronunciation of my and Dr. Duffus's last names. It's DUFF-us, not DOO-fuss. Its a Scottish name taken from a small town in northern Scotland near Elgin. I can't particularly fault you for the mistake, which has also been made by every other person who has ever read my last name off a list in a public setting (teachers, DMV workers, restaurant seaters, etc.).
The most famous example of this misreading came when Jay Leno received the news clipping for my cousin Katie Duffus's wedding to Jamie Head and on national TV announced the upcoming "Doofus-Head" wedding.
While occasionally embarrassing, the name does come in handy for immediately identifying telemarketers who mispronounce it. My very proper mother has even taken to correcting their mistake by informing them that the name is pronounced DUFF-us, that's d-u-f-F-U!!!!-s.
Meanwhile, it turns out the registrar at Stanford University is named Roger Printup, which reminds us of the time years ago when we interviewed a guy called David Register who was director of licensing from the state of Florida. Other fun names: British neurologist Lord Brain, Duke psychiatry professor John Looney, sociologist Dennis Wrong and Roger Williams University law professor Carl Bogus, who, as Glenn Reynolds has pointed out, has defended antigun historian Michael Bellesiles's bogus research.
Guns Don't Kill People, Ovens Kill People
"Stored Bullets Explode in Wis. Oven"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 18
No Kidding
From a New York Times review of "Talk Sex With Sue Johanson," a program on the Oxygen cable network: "Some young women, for example, still ask whether they can become pregnant through oral sex, and they have more than a few misconceptions."
Quiznos Goes Spongmonkeyfishing
So it turns out the animated creatures in the Quiznos Subs ad, which we noted yesterday, are "spongmonkeys," the creation of Joel Veitch, who runs the Web site RatherGood.com, which has a variety of strange animations set to music. The Quiznos ditty "We Love the Subs" is an adaptation of the Veitch tune "We Like the Moon." They still look like mutant rodents to us, though.
The Power of Faking It
"An Oxford engineering student was surprised but undaunted when he was approached to deliver a series of lectures in Beijing on global economics," reports London's Daily Telegraph. Twenty-three-year-old Matthew Richardson says he knew "next to nothing" about the subject, but decided to give it a try anyway. He checked a textbook out of the library and spent the flight to China studying it:
From it he prepared a two-hour presentation, believing he had to deliver the same lecture several times over to different groups of students over three days.
Mr Richardson, who has the same name as a New York University professor who is a leading authority on international financial markets, was met at the airport and taken straight to a conference centre where, over lunch, "the horrible truth became apparent."
He said: "It became clear to me that my audience was not students, but people from the world of commerce studying for a PhD in business studies having already gained an MBA.
"And instead of repeating the same lecture, I was required to deliver a series of different lectures to the same people over three days."
But he mostly pulled it off. "I ripped out the pages [of the textbook] and disguised each chapter as notes," he recounts. "Because I was speaking through an interpreter I had the time to glance at the pages and prepare myself for what I was going to say next. I ad libbed a bit and really got into the subject. I was learning as much as my audience."
"Several students told him, through the interpreter, how informative they were finding his lectures," he said. But alas, he ran out of material. "By mid-afternoon on the second day I was already on chapter 15 of 16 and I still had the rest of the day and the following morning to go." So he ran for it, checked out of the conference hotel, and moved to different lodgings before leaving the country.
Prof. Richardson, the homonymic NYU prof, was amused: "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and it seems as if this young man will go far." Woody Allen once observed that "90% of life is just showing up." If only the young Matthew Richardson had checked out another book from the library, he might have been able to fill the other 10% |
