You know, I'm retired now, but I worked for many years as a Director at a large tech company. We used to talk about how it was healthy to have "fierce conversations". What we meant by that was, put the issue on the table, especially the issue that no one wants to talk about and tackle the hard stuff head on. If emotions get elevated, keep going and have the "fierce conversation", because that is when breakthroughs in thinking happen. This only worked in the context of a tight team. We built teams of people that liked each other, trusted each other, and had your back. So you could let your hair down and speak your mind and not worry about hurting other people's feelings. Those were good times. We accomplished a lot and we felt like superstars.
I do worry about today's young people and the world they live in, where the rules of the road are so complex, they need entire classes on how to deal with each other to navigate opaque social norms that seem to shift with the daily tides. Times used to be so much simpler. You did right by each other. You looked for the win win and you forgave people for their minor transgressions, because you always assumed they had positive intent, unless proven otherwise. The best skill I ever learned in dealing with other people is not to pay too much attention to what they said, but rather to look for their true intent and understand their character. Misplaced words or stepping in verbal potholes never bothered me much. I didn't look for the perceived micro-aggression or got too involved in victim mentality. I just liked people. People of all stripes and dispositions, because the more colorful the people were, the more interesting the teams were...and most often, the better they were able to make those breakthroughs when they worked together. I see what folks go through in the workplace now and I have to wonder if they are all just making it overly complex. Maybe it's my generations fault. We taught our kids that everyone gets a trophy and then the real world hit them between their eyes and rocked their perception of how things should be. We sheltered them and made them too sensitive to opposing views and to adversity, and now all of us are paying the price. Reality TV has now become reality. |
