George,
I very much enjoyed your poem-and don't believe that levity was out of order at all. But I think you were reacting to this one emotion as if it were the only one Alexa and I have. I can't speak for Alexa, but I will for myself. The relationship between mother and child exists on many levels, and only one of those is the one that we were expressing today, a day when where we have been, where we are, and where we are going as mothers is uppermost in our minds. There is no forgetting of the "seedbearer" and his role, either as husband or father, rather an emphasis on an aspect of mothering that is hard for us. THe whole goal of what we do is to release, to set free, and yes, it is hard to see them go. Why deny the pain that every mother feels at this? Why does this imply that other relationships of equal value and importance don't exist in our lives? Poetry and song express one moment, one feeling, one point in our lives, not our entire existence. Regarding your second statement, no one will ever need you in the way a child does or give you the same sense of fulfillment; it has nothing to do with the value of any other relationship.
Forgive me if I presume, but I wonder if this is a personal pain that you're expressing here. Your second post has an undercurrent almost of hostility. I don't think what Alexa and I were writing was beyond what any mother I know would understand and validate.
Also I know that my husband has many similar emotions watching our boys move into adulthood. He deals with his own sense of loss. But I don't see that he is "forgetting" me or selfishly clinging to his children, merely experiencing fully one aspect of his life. What makes this loss a joyous one for us both is knowing that it is the culmination of many years of letting go and that we have done it gracefully and well if they don't look back. |
