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I have been married since I was 19 years old to the most wonderful man I ever met. He is funny, romantic, exremely intelligent and very interesting. He is my best friend. I went through college with him, taking classes together, walking to school together. I am never tired of his company. If it is up to me we will be together forever and our ashes will be mingled in an urn somewhere when we die. But that does not mitigate the sadness I feel over the loss of my babies. The realtionship with my husband is completely different than the total dependency my babies had on me as their mother. I fed them from my body, I carried them on my back in a backpack, I slept with them until they were weaned. My babies are rapidly dissapearing into children, who will then become teenagers and finally adults. As adults, as the healthy adults I hope they will become, they will perforce need me less then they do now. If you cannot comprehend that loss, even if you have not experienced it, you have no imagination. My husband is not my child, I do not treat him as a child, he does not look to me as a child. As a mother, a traditional mother, I have given more of my "self" to my children than has my husband who has supplied all our material wants. I have no idea why you take issue with what I have said, you are not a woman, or a mother, how can you possibly judge me or what I say about motherhood? How can you judge my relationship with my husband, who I love more than I can put into words? Your post is incomprehensible to me, as was your poem. |
