noparking
"Regarding my monumental, death-defying prediction.
I finally know how you feel now. Already, I can feel
the whole board looking to me for direction,
for leadership. My every trade, every click of my
mouse shadowed and scrutinized like it's under some kind
of spotlight. Messages from people I don't even know
asking me for advice. Me!?"
noparking,
Now you’ve done it!
You’ve successfully called the NAS close.
Your life will never be the same.
You probably thought that you were participating in
an innocent little guessing contest, when in fact,
you had unwittingly joined the let’s-play-market-god crowd.
By winning the NAS close contest, you have set the wheels in motion.
You are most likely already feeling the solvent
of your soul passing, slipping, swirling away, carrying
with it quantities of dissolved Noparking essence, like water down a drain.
Past winners have experienced the throngs of
autograph seekers, and sometimes calls from institutions requesting your picks.
But in many cases, the winners have been utterly hounded and
have had to barricade their family in their home as
swarms of investors have surrounded their abode
and even scraped through their garbage searching
for any fragment of their DNA.
Having been through this nightmare myself, I would suggest
that you change your name, sand off your finger prints and
ask the FBI for NAS Close Winner Relocation assistance.
You have my congratulations... and my sympathy. |
