By request and with permission, an appropriate exam for the targets and namesakes of the thread...Enjoy.....
Troy
P.S. - I bet they don't do much, if any, better, then the rest of us mere mortals....:)
Are you (or yours) a "real" man?
Note: All "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions.
Know this, and you will have come far in understanding us and enriching your own life.
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth,
and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of
intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but
incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing
all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy,
wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating
oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life
do you miss the most?
A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Cherry bombs.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without
regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
B. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is
the only really sportsman-like way to let him know that, for business
reasons, you have to have him killed.
4. What about hugging another male?
A. If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal
disease.
B. If you're performing the Heimlich maneuver. (And even in
this case, you should repeatedly shout: "I am just dislodging food
trapped in this male's trachea! I am not in any way aroused!")
C. If you're a professional baseball player and a teammate hits
a home run to win the World Series, you may hug him provided that:
(1) He is legally within the base path, (2) Both of you are
wearing sufficient protection, and (3) You also pound him
fraternally with your fist hard enough to cause fractures.
5. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
6. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's
attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One
leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy - you're
watching a football game; she's reading the papers - when
she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she
thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the
uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going.
She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only
whether you believe that you have some kind of future together.
What do you say?
A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future,
but you don't want to rush it.
B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you
cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a
lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out
false hope.
C. That you cannot believe the Jets called a draw play on third
and seventeen.
7. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and
you want to spend the rest of your life with her - sharing the joys
and the sorrows, the world has to offer, come what may. How do you
tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her
name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing her
hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
C. Tell her what?
8. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks
you to get your three children ready for school. Your first
question to her is:
A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "There are three of them?"
9. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed
new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were
originally intended for your legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear
molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.
C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy
checks the garbage regularly in case somebody-and we are not naming
names, but this would be his wife-is quietly trying to discard his
underwear, which she is frankly jealous of, because the guy
seems to have a more intimate relationship with it than with her.
10. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation
for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for
forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?
A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when
they finally got there.
C. He refused to ask for directions.
EXTRA CREDIT QUESTION:
What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control
D. SI |
