I had a fly in the ointment once. I trained it to whistle dixie and dance the hoochie koo. Made a million in Peoria as people would gather around my shop window and stare. I would go outside and sell them cigarettes and whiskey and bet on the fly's performance.
Finally the fly died. 200,000 came to the funeral which we catered. I sold 150,00 flippy the fly kerchiefs and 75,000 flippy buttons, 28,000 cans of insecticide, 1,000,000 packs of cigarettes, 500,000 flippy dogs, and 10,000,000 bags of chewing gum with flippy trading cards. We sold 1000 flippy franchises and had these giant yellow flippy wings that we stood outside the store. Somebody christened them the Golden Arches which all flies must pass through to go to heaven. Finally old Roy Krok ask me how much I wanted for them and I said he could have them as we had an environmental order against them from the city. He did alright with the flippy burgers idea and I heard he moved to New York.
I got another fly and opened up across town. Next day this irritating lawyer named Bill Mcdonald closed us down saying we had sold the idea to Roy and this was unfair competition.
I don't know what became of the restaurant he opened.
Did I ever tell you about the idea I had to put some old basic programs on a hand held computer and call is the Messy Dosshouse Calculator thingie. I was standing at a bus stop one day when the nice young neighbour boy Bill Gates, I think it was wandered by with his toothless geekie grin and those thick glasses and asked me what was that? Last I heard he moved to Washington of all places and married his secretary.
Poor Sam Walton. He used to live next to us in Arkansas with that pudgy jooger from over the way Bill Clinton. Sam was always selling stuff in his backyard. He liked to skate around on roller blades and tell people everything was half price. Crazy galoot. split a penny with a broad axe. I heard he died broke. Nice guy. Never had much money.
Bernard Baruch was a so so speculator until he met this geologist who worked for a sulphur company out of Texas. Apparently the had a drill hole up in Prosser Twp and there was something odd about it. They had drilled for 200 yards and they could not find bottom. Wonder what ever became of that.
There are some things you would give a million to find out.
EC<:-} |
