LOL- are you sure its not a spoof?
SEATTLE, WA--(TP Newswire – 8-22-2010). HQ Sustainable Nightmaritime (HQSN ), a leading consumer of investor’s cash, today announces a surprise follow on offering of 5 million shares of common stock priced at $2.00 per common share. An additional 800,000 shares will be available for over allotment. WTF Bank is acting as the underwriter for this transaction.
This offering will provide HQSN with approximately $9.3 million in net proceeds that will be used for debt repayment, capital expenditures, and general corporate purposes. HQSN’s CEO, Mr. Snowbert Spurns, justified the massive dilution as follows: “Our management team identified 10 reasons for an additional capital raise. This simply was too many reasons to ignore and we felt that we needed to act quickly.” Mr. Spurns added “The fact that we identified 10 reasons to raise capital now clearly supports management’s actions. The identified reasons for the current equity offering include:
1. It came to our attention that there are 800 tour buses that bring in over 20 million tourists daily in some parts of China. This underscores our basic business thesis that there is @#$%load of people in China.
2. With an average of more than 25,000 tourists packed into each bus tighter than a pond full of tilapia, we concluded they can’t all fit in the usual cultural and historical tourist sites. We expect the spillover tourists to hang out at nutraceutical and bio-marine product stores to replenish their pockets full of shark fins and fish liver pills.
3. Existing cash is allocated to other capital projects that are not expected to ever generate any significant positive cash flow – just like our previous capital projects. Therefore, we need additional cash to strike rapidly while China’s population remains large and tourists continue to be unbelievably and densely packed in buses. This business opportunity will not last forever.
4. The additional cash will allow us to further vertically integrate our operation through innovative downstream capital deployment. In addition to our rapid expansion of nutraceutical and bio-marine market stalls placed throughout China’s many outdoor markets (referred to as our superstores), HQSN will extend even further downstream by hiring local Chinese consumers to shop in its stores. This innovative initiative is expected to immediately increase HQSN’s sales and provide a new platform for sales growth. Everybody knows that, when it comes to sales, more is better.
5. Ms. FU, HQSN’s founder, chairman, and largest shareholder, has an extended family that needs a new fleet of Mercedes and this company is not generating enough cash to meet this important need. We don’t want the densely packed tourists to see Ms. FU’s family drive older model cars.
6. The capital raise fits within HQSN’s previously announced Shareholder’s Value Reduction (SVR) Program. This program provides our investors important relief from paying capital gains taxes.
7. With a stock price that traded more than $14/share in 2007, the current capital raise accelerates our SVR Program and we believe it now places HQSN’s SVR achievement at greater than 98 percent of all US-listed Chinese companies. This remarkable achievement will attract a new crop of bottom-feeding investors necessary to sustain our SVR Program. |
