ESSAY CONTEST: What the End of the Bush Regime Means to You
By Commissarka Pinkie
1/2/2009, 9:21 am
Comrades! Here’s a chance for you to be a part of history!
You and a friend/life partner/cell mate/protest buddy/appliance could be selected to receive the GRAND PRIZE we’ve all been waiting for, lusting after, yea, even slobbering over for the past eight years—the chance for a front row seat at the Bush Crimes Tribunal!
Yes, you and another lucky pod could be flown to The Hague in the charming, picturesque, delightfully Progressive land of The Netherlands, where you may actually see the evil George W. Bush finally brought to justice for his Crimes Against Everything, to include war crimes, hate crimes, crimes against peace, crimes against the planet, crimes against humanity, and for being the Worst President in U.S. History as well as the Worst Human Being Ever.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS WRITE AN ESSAY ON WHAT THE END OF THE EVIL, IMMORAL, ILLEGAL BUSH REGIME MEANS TO YOU, AND POST IT HERE ON THIS THREAD!
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At long last! As eight years of widespread fear and blood-soaked oppression come to an end (O willing Bush doesn’t use Israel’s cowardly, unprovoked attack on the defenseless, peace-loving Hamas as an excuse to cancel the The One’s Inauguration and proclaim himself Dictator for Life), We The People are finally free to celebrate and express ourselves fully, whether it be by writing essays, dressing up like Gitmo prisoners or dressing down like Abu Ghraib prisoners, pretending to waterboard each other, throwing shoes at Bush puppets or burning him in effigy, or even baring our boobs in protest of his immoral, illegal policies! Free to say what we really think, without fear of being hauled away in the dead of night to one of Bush’s well known secret concentration camps; or having our cell phones taken away; or suffering the agony of glancing blows from the rubber guns of his notorious secret police; or even being told we’re not patriotic!
Imagine being able to finally say what you couldn’t all these years: How much you hate George W. Bush! Your teeth-grinding annoyance that he managed to steal the presidency not once, but twice! Your foot-stamping frustration that a man so incredibly stupid could single-handedly orchestrate the events of 9-11, trick Congress into approving his illegal war for blood and oil, and even bully them into funding that laughable joke of a “surge” that didn’t even work; all the while cowardly dodging our nation’s most cherished tool—Impeachment—as he destroyed the economy and the environment, throwing millions out of work, out of their homes, and in the case of the Polar Bears, off their rapidly melting ice caps—and all to divert attention away from his other, more insidious crimes!
So pop your corks, flip your lids, and tell us! Tell us what you feel, and you could be one of the lucky ones selected for a chance to enjoy access to Bush’s trial, whenever and wherever it happens!
No limit on word count. You can write a single sentence or an entire manifesto! Be creative—compose a haiku or a limerick! Grammar, spelling, punctuation and facts not important—just write from your heart! All that matters is bashing Bush and trashing his legacy!
Just picture yourself and someone you're having sex with standing on the sidelines in this magnificent hall in The Hague's Peace Palace, jeering Bush and throwing shoes at him as he is dragged in chains to the Courtroom of the International Court of Justice, where he will finally stand in judgment before the whole world!
FINE PRINT: All comrades are urged to make a donation to the Bush Crimes Tribunal Fund in the form of a money order (U.S. funds only) made out to Commissarka Pinkie c/o The People’s Cube. Donations will go toward helping to empower courageous patriots like Pinkie to continue the ongoing fight to press for passing resolutions that raise awareness and send strong messages to the world about the importance of bringing George W. Bush to justice. Without your donation, we can make no promises that if selected you will actually get to sit in on the Bush Crimes Tribunal. We will not be held liable for any arrests, beatings, disappearances, confiscations of cell phones or hoods, or any other civil rights violations that may occur as a result of security breaches, language barriers, weather, bomb scares, ignorance of or disregard for international law and/or local customs, or any other foul-ups while comrades seek access to the Tribunal. Failure to participate in this thread will subject you to endless questions about your patriotism and intelligence, as well as constant harassment, humiliation, and shunning by all other comrades. We reserve the right to cancel this whole thing at anytime for any reason, without having to explain anything to anyone, while still reserving the right to go after non-participants as described in previous sentence. In the event the Democratic Congress continues to be as spineless as they’ve been for the past two years, and fail to extradite Bush to the Tribunal, participants will have the chance to be selected for Pinkie’s prestigious Beet of the Week Award. All will be eligible simply to be acknowledged by the Commissarka. However, such acknowledgment does not guarantee immunity from her shovel. Comrades are responsible for offsetting any carbon footprint incurred as a result of participation in this program.
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