Having lurked for a while and "borrowed" a few items from this thread, though I might make a couple of deposits:
Some of these haikus are pretty disgusting, but there are a couple of gems. If you do check it out, I would suggest that you not do so around meal time.
By the way, haiku is a form of Japanese poetry - 3 lines, structured as 5-syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables
The first several are just plain gross (humorless). My personal favorites are the hockey one and the one about leaving your true love.
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XXXXX@andrew.cmu.edu
Subject: Dan & Eric Leprosy Week
It's Leprosy Week on Dan & Eric! Readers are encouraged to post haiku on the subject of leprosy. The D&E reader who posts the most original leprosy haiku will receive an all-expense paid trip to the St. Thomas Leper Colony in adagascar. The winner will also receive a neon plaid leisure suit with detachable sleeves and a pair of fingerless leather gloves. Bonus points will be awarded for haiku that mentions one or more biblical lepers.
A special prize will also be given to the first D&E reader to post a uuencoded GIF image that unequivocally proves that they are or were during a past life a leper.
Drew
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In the following week, these haiku were posted either to the mailing list, or to the zephyr instance:
The scabs and sores that
Plague my body are often
Worse in the springtime.
- Elliott C. Evans
In the late autumn,
When leaves wither and fall down,
My nose crumbles off.
- Elliott C. Evans
Like Job bemoaning
The loss of his family
I weep for my ear.
- Elliott C. Evans
Oh, no, leprosy
Armadillos can get it
I hope I do not.
- Jim Zelenka
Simon was leprous
He left long trails of organs
Boy, was that sucky!
- Doug DeCarlo
On a windy day
Guns are unnecessary
To blow my head off.
- Doug DeCarlo
Check extremities.
No summer sun can wake these
from numbing winter.
- Kurt Schaefer
Oh the fetid smell.
Dull senses alert too late.
Ulcers bloom with spring.
- Kurt Schaefer
Sure glad i don't have
Leprosy. That would really
Suck in the winter.
- Axel Essbaum
In winter we play
Hockey except when there's a
Face off on the ice.
- Joby
My life is Winter
Yet my soul is the Summer
My limbs are just Fall.
- Chris Rapier
Breeze over the lake
See the ducks flutter and splash
Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate!
- Andy "Zarf" Plotkin
Jenny Craig you fool
Who needs a diet when your
Body falls apart.
- Esther Filderman
She loves basketball
Since her illness she uses
Her boobs to dribble.
- Esther Filderman
I would create more
But i must go catch a bus
Hope my self stays whole.
- Esther Filderman
leper beach outing
salt water laps at their toes
floating out to sea
- Karen Fabrizius
lepers at the beach
do not need sunblock lotion
wipe away the tan
- Paul Mazaitis
Fall rain comes gently
pond ripples with falling leaves
fingers drop like stones.
- Greg Landrum
we are holding hands
our fingers intertwine -- hey,
come back here with that
- Andy Plotkin
morning, sun shining
coffee perks, toast is soon done
flesh makes tasty jam.
- Greg Landrum
sex can be a drag
when you're afraid of leaving
your true love behind
- Esther Filderman
Reading haikus here.
i will blow chunks on the floor...
aha! found that finger!
- Brian Harrison
I was bulimic
until my finger came off
while stuck in my throat
- Greg Landrum
melted brie is yum
but it tastes much better when
i stir with his tongue
- Esther Filderman
lepers laugh aloud,
"We have a quicker way than
bulemia diet."
- Brian Harrison
i used to archive
the sick jokes on dan and eric
about pilot last remarks.
- Brian Harrison
my good friend in need
asks me for a hand today
so I oblidged him.
- Brian Harrison
headaches are so fun
someone pulled the dagger out
my head went with it
- Esther Filderman
My sores and pustules
Continue to produce filth
Much like this instance.
- Elliott Evans
the weather turns cold
"bridge freezes before surface"
blood swirls down the stream.
- Brian Harrison
Valentines Day gone
Hearts strewn all over the stores
One of them is mine
- Jim Zelenka
don't smoke any more
took a deep drag on a butt
then coughed up a lung
- Esther Filderman
decided to die
tried to slit my throat but my
head snapped & rolled off
- Esther Filderman
help, feline vulture
she climbs on my shoulder &
my arm falls away
- Esther Filderman
Poetry leprous
Falls from and with our fingers
Like leaves in Autumn
- Jim Zelenka
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Date: Tue, 21 Feb 95 12:34:49 -0800
From: xxxx@pdi.com
To: xxxxx.cmu.edu
Subject: Leprosy Week
The winner of the Leprosy Week Haiku Contest is:
AXEL!
Here's his little gem:
"Sure glad I don't have
Leprosy. That would really
Suck in the winter."
Although much of the haiku posted was arguably more sophisticated, I feel that Axel's poetry most clearly expresses the spirit of the Dan & Eric mailing list. |
