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Microcap & Penny Stocks : Globalstar Telecommunications Limited GSAT
GSAT 73.05-0.9%Dec 12 3:59 PM EST
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To: Jeff Vayda who wrote (4512)5/10/1999 2:51:00 PM
From: djane   of 29987
 
Wired snideness. Satellites for Sale, Barely Used

Wired News Report

3:00 a.m. 10.May.99.PDT

So you've got this US$3 billion satellite
network that isn't working out so well.
Bummer. Good thing there are still at
least 10 uses for those lonely satellites. A
few humble suggestions from Wired News.

10. Attach strings between the 66
satellites and ground stations. Attach tin
cans to the dangling end of the strings to
create a worldwide tin-can phone
network.

9. Initiate an adopt-a-satellite program.
For just a few million dollars a month, you
could help out a starving satellite.

See Also: Iridium: Edsels in the Sky?

8. Let the satellites fall into the
atmosphere on 31 December 1999, and
charge world governments for the mother
of all fireworks displays.

7. If all else fails, women could use it as
the ultimate brush-off. "Here's my private
Iridium line. Call me."

6. Pitch the service specifically to sports
utility vehicle owners. After all, they're
always driving through the wilderness.

5. Auction the birds off on eBay. Have
shills drive bidding up to $10 billion.

4. Extreme skeet shooting. "Pull!"

3. Attach 50-mile-long advertising
streamers from every satellite. Just in
time for the beach season.

2. Change the company's name to
e-Iridium.com. If investors think it's an
Internet company, they won't care that
it's losing billions.

1. Drape a huge afghan over all the
satellites and use it to protect the ozone.

Copyright © 1994-99 Wired Digital Inc. All rights
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