Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! Message Board

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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!!

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To: jpmac who wrote (45512)	7/14/1999 2:03:00 AM
From: greenspirit	Read Replies (2) of 108807

Yes, it's difficult to put into clear words, but I'll see if I can build on what I was trying to say... Our attitudes and behaviors flow out of our paradigms. If we use our self-awareness to examine them, we can see in them the nature of our internal maps. Our language, is a very real indicator of the degree to which we see ourselves as proactive people. The language of reactive people absolves them of responsibility. "He makes me so mad!" Therefore, I'm not responsible. My emotional life is governed by something outside my control. "If only my wife were more patient!". Someone else's behavior is limiting me. " I have to do it!". Circumstances or other people are forcing me to do what I do. I'm not free to choose my own actions. That kind of language comes from a paradigm of determinism. And the whole spirit of it is the transfer of responsibility. "I am not responsible, not able to choose my response". A serious problem with reactive language is it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. People become reinforced in the paradigm and they produce evidence to support the belief. They feel increasingly victimized and out of control, not in charge of their life or their destiny. They blame outside forces, other people, for their situation. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Either way it's a choice we can make. We are all responsible for the way in which we react. Our words convey the level in which we have risen above our deterministic paradigm. Paradigms, mental models, and the nuances of speech and language are fascinating to study as they relate to Organizational behavior. Going to meetings and recognizing the underlying inferences in discussions can also be very amusing. Especially in a hierachial based organization.

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