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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!!
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To: Sidney Reilly who wrote (45951)7/18/1999 4:30:00 AM
From: E   of 108807
 
My opinion is that there can be no universal rule about such things, because they depend on what the individuals have arranged, or assumed. If there are different assumptions about privacy on the parts of the husband and wife, there is clearly trouble in the offing. (I really think that any marriage in which a private diary was against the rules was probably in trouble from the beginning; but maybe I'm wrong in that intuition; people have all sorts of arrangements.)

But I will say that if one partner declares that he or she wants to keep a private diary or journal, to me personally it seems startling that there should be any question raised about it.

My husband is a writer, and I wouldn't think of snooping around his desk to see something he's working on before he's ready to show it to me; and that's not even a personal journal.

If a partner is insisting on seeing something like that, it's surely because there's a real problem somewhere, don't you think so? I mean, it's so undignified and peculiar to insist on reading someone's diary, that maybe the partner is feeling driven to do that by desperation of some sort, or by a paranoia that makes them feel desperate-- OR, the desperation could be from being a standard control freak who is unable to allow any area of privacy simply because it represents an area in which they are not in control.

What do you think, Sidney?
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