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Strategies & Market Trends : VOLTAIRE'S PORCH-MODERATED
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To: Clappy who wrote (4912)10/2/2000 3:57:26 PM
From: Dr. David Gleitman  Read Replies (1) of 65232
 
Dear Predident Clappy:

I read with great concern your advocacy of using Firstone/Bridgstone tires as a substitute for tree swings. If you read the latest data from the National Hijinx Safety Institue where they used crash dummies on these swings (I think that Woody, from toy story was one of their first victims). They found that side impact from twisting around these swings was three times greater, then with wooden swings. In addition they found that in the rapid swing phase, 37% of the trees exhibited rollover (not to mention splintering). Several parks departments, in the interest of greater profitability have lowered the water pressure requirements on the central sprinkler systems. Their erroneous thought process concluded that less water= drier wood=greater torsional rigidity. What they failed to disclose was that this can also lead to increased brittleness in the branch trunks and increases the chances of delamination of the bark, further causing decay and branch breakage. To this date there were 110 squrrel fatalities (According to federal policy, fatalities occuring to other species do not have to counted as part of the statistical analysis, although the Vetenarian Adminsitration is contesting this loophole vehimently). The VA indicated that this type of smokescreen has resulted in the overcrowding in their wards and represents 1/3 of all roadkill.

As a public service, I just thought that I should bring this to your attention.

Your concered citizen (who's getting waco from this market)
David
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