Another Isle of Crude story.
Dear Valuepro and Gemsearcher,
You might be glad to know that Kamikaze, our pilot, is now able to stand on all fours and is crawling to Dodo, our feathered vertebrate. His efforts will be in vain. She hasn't flown for years. I'll wait for him to sober up and will then direct him to one of our tame pterodactyls.
Everything is very peaceful here.
No problems means we are on our backs again, staring towards the ceiling for inspiration.
County, our accountant, has just walked in. He is a mathematical genius. Whatever you ask him to add up it always totals four. One of his left hand fingers is missing. But that's another story.
So he came in and asked "What's new?"
"Wouldn't you be happy" I said "if somebody gave you lots of money even if you have pay it back later?"
"Hmmm...yes, I suppose so" said County.
I could see he was puzzled. I decided to make it simple.
"Lie down, County" I said. He did. "There are these nice people who have agreed to give lots of money to a company in which we hold shares."
He nodded slowly and twitched, I could see he'd been at the meths again.
"Yabber was on the Can'O'Phone to Jo'burg.. no NOT Mrs Pless.. and these nice people with lots of money have handed legal documents to other people for scrutiny. Get it, County?"
County nodded.
"Then they will scrawl their names on the documents and the company will dig a hole in the ground."
"Good" said County "but what about the people who have beautiful rose trees growing on that ground. They won't like a hole in it."
County wasn't so stupid after all.
"Right" I said "There are other nice people on an island, much bigger than Crude, and they have promised another lot of money. The company will then give that money to the people who own the ground. They will be happy because they can go and cultivate their rose bushes elsewhere. What is more...."
Oh hell, Kamikaze has taken off and is heading in our direction.
"Unox, man the guns."
Sorry, I've got to go.
Crudestope.
P.S. Stay tuned tomorrow or Sunday for another Isle of Crude gem of a story. |
