Late Night Snark: Approved by 120% of Fox News Anchors!
"Tea Party Nation announced last week that Sarah Palin will headline what is being called the first national tea party convention in February. It is expected to be the nation's largest-ever gathering of misspelled signs."
---Seth Meyers
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President Obama in Oslo: I'm living testimony to the moral force of non-violence...the creed and lives of Gandhi and King. But as a head of state, sworn to protect and defend my nation, I cannot be guided by their examples alone. ... Our challenge is reconciling these two seemingly inreconcilable truths---we can understand that there will be war and still strive for peace.
Jon Stewart: Unghh!! Ungghh!! Obama forcing us to live in area between absolutes. BRAIN HURTS! COMPLICATED!!!
---The Daily Show
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"In Toledo, Ohio, a man attacked a Salvation Army bell ringer, grabbed his red kettle, threw it in the back of his truck, yelled, 'I hate Christmas,' and drove off. Here's my question: What is Dick Cheney doing in Toledo, Ohio?"
---Jay Leno
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"Rush Limbaugh says that black people are depressed because President Obama isn’t doing a very good job. Proving once again that no one has their finger on the pulse of the African-American community like Rush Limbaugh."
---Conan O'Brien
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"Let me just say that I'm not bailing on the president---I'm just getting a little worried. Mr. President, remember "Yes We Can, Yes We Can"? Well I wish you would.
---Wanda Sykes
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"A guy in Las Vegas is suing Caesars Palace for losing $125 million gambling. Lehman Bros. heard about it and said, 'Amateur.'"
---David Letterman
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"After Fox was caught introducing footage supposedly from a Sarah Palin book signing but actually from last year's presidential campaign, the top brass at Fox News sent an internal memo stating, 'Effective immediately, there is a zero-tolerance policy for on-screen errors.' Fox, what are you doing??? You're 'fair' and 'balanced.' To be fair, you have to balance every fact with corresponding bullshit!"
---Stephen Colbert |
