Further Kevin Watson memorabilia: a true clairvoyant!
From: Kevin Watson
Jan 14 1997 8:58AM
Reply #2225 of 2269
Top Twenty Predictions for later in 1997:
20. David Stewart's final pick: "Go to Vegas and put it all on red."
19. Several Wall St. "analysts" will be fired after their employers discover that their "research" is cut and
pasted directly from SI threads
18. Microsoft will succeed in making "Slate" a Pay-Per-Visit site. If you visit, they will pay.
17. Fox will launch "The Momentum Channel", complete with a real-time relative strength ticker and
break-out alerts.
16. Politeness and decorum return to y2k thread (because investors have their butlers do the typing).
15. Matridigm conversion "factories" will be underutilized, but the surplus capacity will be used, with minor
code changes, to pick winners of Publishers' Clearing House Sweepstakes.
14. Wired will publish an issue that does not cause dizziness, headaches and nausea.
13. Clinton will order government to take action on y2k problem after McDonald's Corp. takes huge charge
against earnings for spiraling y2k costs and warns it may close some locations.
12. Grant's Interest Rate Observer will fold due to lack of, well, interest. It will be reborn as "BIG JIM'S
HOT HOT CAN'T MISS Y2K PICKS" website. Each week a new report will be available for downloading
for $3,500.
11. Those annoying AOL disks that come in the mail will include a y2k fix for your PC ("guaranteed for as
long as AOL stays in business")
10. The Social Security reform panel will advise that the nation's savings should be invested in DDIM, VIAS,
ZITL.
9. A "Seinfeld" episode will depict Kramer learning COBOL in order to cash in on $1,000 per diem rates.
(Also in his night class at NYU will be the Soup Nazi, Uncle Leo and Keith Hernandez.)
8. Ted David and Jimmy Rogers will have an on-camera fist-fight after Ted taunts Jimmy for shorting VIAS at
$12.
7. Hookers will abandon 42nd St. to prey on horny y2k programmers leaving Mid-town offices after
midnight.
6. Larry Martin will make a cameo appearance on the Fox "Millennium" TV show and go on to become a large
celebrity. He will later appear in national advertising for Ultra SlimFast 2000.
5. Sue Herera and Maria Bartiromo will have a hair-pulling cat-fight after Sue accuses Maria of buying naked
ZITL calls with the office football pool.
4. Bill Gates will announce that Microsoft will "re-focus" itself towards developing a y2k solution -
FUD/2000. Buggy, alpha version of FUD/2000 eventually hits the streets in August, 2002.
3. A new cocktail craze will sweep the nation's bars. The "Mad Monk" will consist of large glass of warm
sake. Floating in the middle: two spherical objects of uncertain origin. It will taste good, if you can afford it.
2. I will fix some of the programs I wrote in the 80's (oops, did it again).
1. A "Friends" episode will feature Monica seducing y2k expert Peter DeJager while he is in town for a
conference. She will discover that there is no cure for the "Millennium Bug". |
