But, now I save stuff!...and the energy to move isn't there anymore.
I was married to an Air Force officer so moving was once normal for me, too. I've been here for 32 years now and have accumulated a lot of stuff even though I've gone through regular divestiture exercises. (Divestiture is a big part of my spirituality. I never feel so righteous as when I'm cleaning up and throwing out.) I would not have stayed here so long but for the golden handcuffs of my job.
There are lots of wonderful things about my part of the world, but I don't like the climate. It's culturally rich here, it costs me almost nothing to live in my home, and I have a support network of friends who are fine people. It's not easy to pick up and go, which is probably part of why I procrastinate. I'm very comfortable here. But there's less life ahead of me than behind me and life feels longer if the climate is such that one can be out and about every day rather than just part of the year.
Moving, like everything else, gets harder as you get older. I will pay someone to clean and paint and repair. Not long ago, I would have done most of it myself. It will be harder to make new friends like the ones I have wherever I end up, maybe even impossible. And I've never found traveling alone to be very satisfying. But if I stay, I will vegetate and vegetation is early death. I don't have the energy to move, either, but I will totally run out of energy if I don't. I've reinvented myself several times already and need to do it again to be fresh. I had always thought I would wander around for several years internationally and see the parts of the world I haven't already seen, but I was younger when I thought that an attractive idea. My cocooning instincts now are stronger than my need for adventure. And my need for creature comforts stronger. If I could afford to travel to Paris and London concierge class, I might be game, but alas that is not the case. So I go off by car with no particular destination in mind.
It won't be tomorrow or next week or next month, though. I made not a bit of progress today. Maybe tomorrow.
Karen |
