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Politics : Formerly About Applied Materials

AMAT 328.29

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3:59 PM EST

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From: Gottfried	3/13/2002 2:51:09 PM
	of 70976

What it really means, thanks to first_watch on Yahoo... Came across some definitions today that help explain what these market terms really mean. Enjoy..... :-) Bull market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. Bear market: A 6-8 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex. Momentum investing: The fine art of buying high and selling low. Value investing: The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E ratio: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. Broker: Poorer than we were in 1999. 'Buy, Buy': A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane. Standard & Poor: Our life in a nutshell. Stock analyst: Idiot who just downgraded our stock. Stock split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves. Market correction: The day after you buy stocks. Cash flow: The movement our money makes as it disappears down the toilet. Call option: Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail. Day trader: Someone who is disloyal from 9-5. Cisco: Sidekick of Pancho. Yahoo!: What we yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. Windows 2000: What we jump out of when we're the sucker that bought Yahoo for $240 per share. Institutional investor: Past-year investor who's now locked up in a nut house.

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