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Politics : Formerly About Applied Materials
AMAT 328.29-3.4%3:59 PM EST

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From: Gottfried3/13/2002 2:51:09 PM
   of 70976
 
What it really means, thanks to first_watch on Yahoo...


Came across some definitions today that help explain what these market terms really mean. Enjoy..... :-)

Bull market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear market: A 6-8 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex.

Momentum investing: The fine art of buying high and selling low.

Value investing: The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E ratio: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

Broker: Poorer than we were in 1999.

'Buy, Buy': A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.

Standard & Poor: Our life in a nutshell.

Stock analyst: Idiot who just downgraded our stock.

Stock split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.

Market correction: The day after you buy stocks.

Cash flow: The movement our money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

Call option: Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail.

Day trader: Someone who is disloyal from 9-5.

Cisco: Sidekick of Pancho.

Yahoo!: What we yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

Windows 2000: What we jump out of when we're the sucker that bought Yahoo for $240 per share.

Institutional investor: Past-year investor who's now locked up in a nut house.
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