Hurling bedpans at people goes beyond pecking!
Stand up for yourself, man! Now, you can't hurl the bedpan back at her, because that might be considered wife abuse, and disabled wife abuse at that! No, no! Not good! Not ethical! If you wish to retaliate physically, may I suggest, instead:
1) Find an aerosol can of whipped cream, and spray her with it.
2) Promise to give her a nice little backrub; once she's stripped, rub her all over with honey, then dump a sack of turkey feathers on her.
3) Find the worst possible radio station, with the worst possible kind of music, turn it on as loud as you can, and put it somewhere where she can't reach it.
4) Disappear. That way she will have to fix her own breakfast -- and empty her own bedpan.
5) And if you must throw something back, throw a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at her. One of my brothers tried that once, and he highly recommends it as a stress reliever.
See how easy it is? :-)
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