Dear Tech Support:
Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that
the new program began making
unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access
to wardrobe, flower and jewelry
applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of
this phenomenon was included
in the product brochure.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such
as DinnerDancing 7.5,
CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installed new, undesirable,
undocumented programs such as PokerNight 1.3, Football 5.0, Golf 2.4 and
ClutterEverywhere 4.5.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system.
Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning
2.6. I've tried running Norton Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this
all purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you help,
please!!
Sincerely, Pamela
Dear Pamela:
This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due
to a primary misconception.
Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that
Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an
ENTERTAINMENT/GAME package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM and was designed by
its creator to run as few applications as possible.
Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0,
because Husband 1.0 is not
designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would
cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate
Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from
the system, once installed. Any new
program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has
severely limited memory. Error
messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0. Most bugs are
being addressed in Husband 2.0, but the release date is not scheduled
until Husband 1.0 reaches age 45 and automatically tries to update
itself with Bimbo 2.1 beta.
In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications,
or to get new applications to work,
some women have tried to activate the Temp File 'Boyfriend 5.01b'.
However, these women end up with
more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0. Please delete this
file from your hard drive.
Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0,
secretly installed by the parent
company as an integral part of the operating system.
Husband 1.0's progamming should assume responsibility for all faults and
problems, regardless of root cause. If not functioning properly, simply
re-activate this feature by entering the command "C:\ If you loved me,
you would".
Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the
command. Husband 1.0 should then
run the applications Apology 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8. If
Husband 1.0 activated subroutine Motorcycle 1.5, beware.
TECH TIP!
Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional
and more serious GPFs, and
ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\ I APOLOGIZE command before the
system will return to normal
operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to
GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer
6.0.
Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create
BigBelly.fat files and Snore.wav
files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by
following this tech tip!
Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all
GPFs, but because of this fine
feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend
5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great
program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly. Adding additional memory is very costly and
probably not worth the expense.
Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally
recommend HotFood 3.0,
Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can
really help keep Husband 1.0
running smoothly.
After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you
will find many valuable embedded
features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.
A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install
MotherInLaw 1.0, or MindReader 2.3.
These are NOT supported applications, and will cause selective shutdown
of the operating system.
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install
Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech
Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will
learn to fully enjoy this product!
Tech Support |
