A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why she left her last employment, she replied, "Yes sir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked. They played a game called Bridge, and last night lots of folks were there.
As I was about to bring in the refreshments, I heard a man say "Lay down and let's see what you've got."
Another man said "I've got strength but no length."
Oner man said to a lady, "Take your hand off my trick."
I pretty near dropped dead just then when the lady answered, "You jumped me twice when you didn't have the strength for one raise."
One lady was talking about her protecting her honor, and two other ladies said, Now it' s time for me to play with your husband and you can play with mine." Well, I just got my hat and coat and as I was leaving, I hope to die if I didn't hear someone say, "Well I guess we'll go home now, that was the last rubber.”
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A man went to the Doctor and asked him to check his leg
"Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously places his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Give me $10! I'm desperate! I need $10!"
"I've never seen or heard anything like this before! How long has this been going on?" the doctor asked.
"That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Please! I really need $5! Just $5! Please! I'm desperate!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was truly dumbfounded.
"Wait, Doc, that's not all of it. There's more. Just put your ear down on my ankle," the man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was amazed to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need $20! Please lend me $20, please! I am really desperate!"
"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in any of my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. "However... I can make a well-educated guess.
Based on life and all my previous experiences, I can tell you with some certainty, that your leg seems to be broke in three places." |
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