Part of the pastoral counseling is about the permanence of marriage
They could as easily counsel about the permanence of the parent child relationship as the permanence of the marriage. Marriage is a proxy. It's not only a proxy, as you say, but it's still a proxy for the thing we agreed was the key societal interest in marriage. It really doesn't matter much if the parents split after the kids have left the nest. It doesn't matter all that much, either, if the parents split before that as long as the parents continue to parent well jointly.
The compact with God and the church and sanctity of the relationship are all well and good. I'm not knocking them. Only saying that they aren't directly critical to the effective raising of children. They muddle the focus.
maybe it's time for you to be clear, on what, other than the name, you see as the differences between marriage and civil partnerships
I thought I already said that I'm using one term to represent the state's recognition of a partnership contract and the other to represent the religious and societal recognition. I'm sure I already said that in a post to Jewel.
You're still onto that phrase contract with the child,when there can be no such thing.
Sorry. By contract I mean conscious and considered and thoughtful commitment. An pledge made willingly with full knowledge of the implications.
A term of art to you, just another word to me. <g>
And, if I refuse to sign it, or accept a copy of it, the kid stays in the hospital forever?????
Yep. No, not really. Kid gets adopted by someone willing to commit. Parent gets a penalty for procreative negligence.
But why does there need to be a document committing parents to follow the law?
We can enforce the law regardless. Problem is, there are bunches of scofflaws. Bunches and bunches. I was on the beltway today, where traffic reached 80, between jam-ups, that is. You and I have discussed following the speed limit before. Don't you think that more people would abide by the speed limit if they had to commit to it each time they got on the on ramp? Don't you think people would be more likely to be good parents if each time they were about to produce one, they had to go to counseling and make a commitment? That's not to say there wouldn't be a lot of hassle on the on ramp and in the maternity ward, and maybe the hassle wouldn't be cost effective, who knows, and maybe there's a more efficient way of doing the same thing, culturally, like by sanctifying procreation rather than marriage. What I'm trying to address is frivolous and cavalier and thoughtless procreation. Ounce of prevention, and all that...
it needs to be pre-sex counseling
Yes, I believe I suggested that. I used the term pre-procreation. Actually, it needn't be pre-sex, only pre-procreative sex. I realize that that line is fuzzy. As a last resort, it would need to be pre-child-raising.
It wouldn't have to be that onerous if society just switched gears and gave up its focus on marriage. We could have elementary parenting training in schools. And courses for the baby minded. People take drivers' education courses before driving. It's encouraged by society. Society can encourage parenting training as well, which would include the kind of self-discovery that would point to a decision to remain childless for many, many people. |
