The point is that if the horse had been waiting for him, it is not theft
But the point was that the horsey wasn't waiting for him--only in the sense of waiting to be taken without permission. The owners knew nothing of this furtive plan by Jesus.
(if) your emissary could deflect a confrontation by saying "Solon needs it", I would suppose you were not a thief, either.
LOL! This is the criminal "might is right" powerplay. "We need it--and we're TAKING it." HA!
Since swine are, within that context, unclean--they are the appropriate receptacles for demons, and their loss means nothing to the food supply. I have no idea what they were doing there, of course, but I would not be surprised if they were running wild, since no Jew would raise them.
What an odd comment. Do you think that God put pigs on earth solely as a demon trash bin? Millions of pigs are slaughtered every day for food (the U.S. alone slaughters about 100,000,000 per year). Has any Government Inspection Team (or anyone else)--ever found evidence of demons in them? The loss of the pigs is the loss of their value--whatever God intended that value to be.
As far as them being wild, you know nothing about pigs, obviously. Firstly, you would not find more than about 30 or 40 sows and their families running together in a wild condition. This is nonsense. To have EXACTLY 2000 pigs conveniently at the spot, indicates that they were owned by someone--whether for self consumption or trade is entirely irrelevant here. The point is that they were there--and they were NOT wild. As to whether a Jew would raise pigs for trade or self consumption--that, too, is irrelevant here. Also, it is a flippant statement. I have known Jews to work with pigs.
I already explained that the fig tree incident struck me as a sort of living parable, about the accursedness of not bearing good fruit
Your explanation is empty and ridiculous. What kind of living parable is the example of cursing a healthy fig tree that bears perfectly healthy figs IN SEASON, but not in its dormant phase?? The fig tree was God's creation--so just whose creativity is being cursed? What lame and contrived apologetics.
you approach the New Testament antagonistically in the first place, and are unwilling to pretend that it is the account of the Christ
That is untrue. I did not approach the New Testament with antagonism: Quite the contrary. However, after seeing that it is a collection of contradictory, absurd, and self serving lies compiled from other sources--I admit that I find the believing of such pabulum to be worthy of some measure of contempt. As far as PRETENDING (as you say) that it is the account of Christ...may I leave that fine art to those lost souls in a big world, who have demonstrated their proficiency at self deception...
Do you think it is sensible to suppose that 2000 demons were getting their rocks off in the body of one innocent man? The demons are plural so they must have boundaries of separation, and they must have substance: What substance? How much space do 2000 demons occupy in a man? How large is the larynx in a demon? Who told Mark that the demons were modulating sound waves for Jesus? Why did Jesus grant their request? What was the original plan? Why should Jesus cooperate with demons? Soooo many questions...
Has anyone since Luther (swilling a daily diet of beer from his own brewery) ever seen a demon? The world has never had more pigs. Where are the demons? Are they afraid of Phenobarbitol and Dilantin? Where are the demons? Jesus believed in demons--do you?
Do you believe that rainwater is held up by the transparent firmament of heaven, and is released by God through holes? Do you believe that rubbing the blood of dead birds over your body will cure leprosy? Do you believe the earth rests on four pillars--one at each corner? Do you believe that God showed his ass to Moses? Do you believe that primitive EXPLANATIONS of life and the universe--as recorded in the archives of history and mythology--are more accurate than modern explanations from people that have sent men to walk on the moon, and have found the cure for demons??
OK, billions of humans and billions of animals on the earth--but no demons. Why? OK. Confession: I have seen them. I am probably the only living person who has. I cane across 16 of them in a lemon meringue pie about 2 years ago. They occupied most of the pie, and were loud and obnoxious. I asked them what they wanted and they spoke to me in Hebrew: "just to be cast out into the pigs so we can kill the pigs." I ate the pie and took some valium. They were gone in the morning.
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