Thanks, I already saw it. He's a Texas boy running in the gubnatorials. Quite humourous.
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Shootin' for governor
WILL TEXANS GO KINKY?:
Comedian/musician Kinky Friedman is running in the Texas gubernatorial race. His campaign slogan: "How hard can it be?"
Mary Vallis, National Post
Published: Saturday, November 04, 2006
If Texas ever had a lone star, it's Kinky Friedman. He's not a Democrat. He's not a Republican. He's just a cigar-chomping Jewish dude in a 10-gallon hat with a quick wit, a sharp tongue and a dream of governing the state. Mr. Friedman, 62, is running as an independent to become governor of Texas. His resume does not resemble that of any other politician: He is an off-colour comedian, a mystery writer, an animal advocate and former front man of the satirical country band Kinky Friedman & the Texas Jewboys -- its 1970s hits included They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Anymore and Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed.
His policy positions are equally wacky. If elected, Mr. Friedman will appoint his friend and supporter Willie Nelson the state's energy czar because he champions biodiesel. He is a proponent of "Slots for Tots" (legalizing casino gambling to fund education).
As for the Mexican migrant dilemma, he has suggested giving five Mexican generals US$1-million each to patrol a section of the border. Every time an illegal immigrant sneaks into the United States, US$5,000 would be deducted from the responsible general's trust fund.
Mr. Friedman's entire campaign is built around his famous one-liners.
"I just want Texas to be No. 1 in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes," he said recently.
His view on abortion: "I'm not pro-life, and I'm not pro-choice. I'm pro-football."
On same-sex marriage: "I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us."
It would be easy to dismiss his candidacy as a joke -- the ultimate stunt after a lifetime of jest and nonconformity -- were it not for his popularity in the polls.
At times, Mr. Friedman has ranked No. 2 in a field of four, second only to the unpopular Republican Governor, Rick Perry.
Days before the election, polls say he has enough support (14.4%) to split the anti-Perry vote. A recent Zogby poll showed Democrat Chris Bell with 28.5% to Mr. Perry's 36.7%, meaning if Kinky's supporters voted for the Democrat instead, Mr. Bell could win.
"Win or lose, he's changing the playing field. He's giving the whole state political system more degrees of freedom," said Dr. Roger Friedman, Mr. Friedman's brother and a Maryland psychologist.
"He is making it possible for others who are not traditional politicians to have their voices heard."
Mr. Bell has asked Mr. Friedman to step aside several times. But Mr. Friedman refuses to back down. His campaign slogans sum it up: "How hard can it be?" and, "Why the hell not?"
Last night, he even appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman.
"Canadians tend to take their government seriously and look for it to do serious things in efficient ways, whereas Texans tend to deride government and think of it as more trouble than it's worth," said Cal Jillson, a political scientist at Southern Methodist University in Dallas.
"Texans don't expect much from government, and don't get much from government. So when someone comes along and says, 'Why the hell not? Try a comedian,' Texans say, 'Let me think about that.' "
Mr. Friedman is crude and unconventional, but those who know him best say he is also an intellectual with a heart the size of Texas. He was born Richard Friedman in Chicago on Halloween, 1944. The family soon moved to a ranch near Kerrville, Tex., where his parents ran a camp for Jewish children.
When he was only seven years old, he was the youngest of 50 chess players who challenged chess master Samuel Reshevsky in Houston. He earned the nickname Kinky while studying classics at the University of Texas -- not for his sexual proclivities, but his curly hair.
After serving two years with the Peace Corps in Borneo, he returned to the United States and formed Kinky Friedman & the Texas Jewboys, a band that aimed to offend everyone equally -- feminists, racists and rednecks. The band made him a cult hero.
When the musical act finally disbanded, he turned to writing mystery novels with a fictionalized Kinky as the protagonist. He now pens a monthly humour column for Texas Monthly magazine.
Mr. Friedman is single and lives at the ranch in a ramshackle lodge he shares with six rescued mutts collectively known as "the Friedmans": Brownie, Chumley, Mr. Magoo, Fly, Perky and Sundance.
He has also taken in Reverend Goat Carson, a Hurricane Katrina evacuee who is getting back on his feet, and "Cousin Nancy" Parker-Simons. She says Mr. Friedman "rescued" her in 1996 and put her to work, first as his official dog babysitter and starting his official fan club. She now runs the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch, a Friedman-founded animal shelter with a no-kill policy. Despite his hectic schedule, Mr. Friedman calls every day and checks on the dogs, all of which he knows by name.
"He doesn't tell people this, but he's always rescuing people," Mrs. Parker-Simons said.
"Texans are proud, and we brag a lot. Nothing would be more fun than to say Kinky's our governor. I mean, it would be a blast."
Mr. Friedman laid out his reasons for running in his Texas Monthly column back in January, 2005: "Texas is my family. And I intend to give Texas a governor who knows how to ride, shoot straight, and tell the truth, a governor as independent-thinking and as colourful as the state itself."
Indeed, the candidate always says what he thinks, even when his opinions are not popular.
As he rose in the polls, his rivals dredged up a 26-year-old tape of a comedy routine in which he uses the "n-word." He also got in trouble with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People for referring to Hurricane Katrina evacuees in Houston as "crackheads and thugs." He later called himself an "equal opportunity offender."
"I don't eat tamales in the barrio and then go to a black church and eat fried chicken and then go have a bagel with a Jew," Mr. Friedman later said. "I treat all people the same. If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you."
It perhaps comes as no surprise that as election day approaches, Mr. Friedman is slipping in the polls. The pundits say Texans are up for a laugh, but they are taking their votes more seriously.
Mr. Friedman is campaigning in bars and on college campuses -- targeting people who are not traditional voters. It is the same strategy used by professional wrestler Jesse "The Body" Ventura when he successfully ran for Minnesota governor in 1998. (Mr. Friedman's campaign manager is Dean Barkley, who led Mr. Ventura to victory.)
But the odds are stacked against him. In Texas, voters must register 30 days in advance, making it more difficult to turn out the bars and college dorms.
The independent candidate brushes off the poll results, saying they only reflect likely voters, not his unorthodox supporters. No one can predict whether Mr. Friedman will win until election night, Mr. Barkley said.
"We need more voters to turn out than they expect," the campaign director said, pointing out that advance voting is up 30% from the past election.
"Voters are just sick of our political system as it now exists. How that's going to come out in Texas, when they've got a viable choice other than a Democrat and a Republican, who knows?
"All I know is there's more people turning out than the Democrats and Republicans expect. And that can be nothing but good news for Kinky."
What will Mr. Friedman do if he does not become governor? Chances are he will return to the ranch with his Montecristo No. 2s and a few bottles of Jameson, his favourite whiskey. But he has a wisecrack for this, too.
"If Perry wins, I will retire in a petulant snit on a goat farm," he has said.
"If Bell wins, I move to France with Barbra Streisand. If [independent Carole Keeton] Strayhorn wins, I blow my f-----g head off."
KINKY IN HIS OWN WORDS
ON AMERICA'S CULTURAL DIVIDE "I grieve that NASCAR people never go to the lesbians' tea-houses, and the lesbians never go to NASCAR."
ON ABORTION "I'm not pro-life, and I'm not pro-choice. I'm pro-football."
ON SAME-SEX MARRIAGE "I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us."
ON POLITICS "Poly means more than one, and ticks are blood-sucking parasites."
ON THE LEGALIZATION OF MARIJUANA "I'm not talking about like Amsterdam. We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians."
ON ETHNICITY "I don't eat tamales in the barrio and then go to a black church and eat fried chicken and then go have a bagel with a Jew. I treat all people the same. If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you."
"I'm the only one running who has no political experience whatsoever. And politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get."
"Moses and Jesus are big figures in this church that's in my heart. Both of them are good Jewish boys, and they both got in a little trouble with the government. Jesus would be enjoying this campaign very much."
"Just because the other three candidates have had humour bypasses does not mean I have to be a self-important, pompous ass. Besides, some things are too important to be taken seriously."
"Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest."
"I just want Texas to be No. 1 in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes."
© National Post 2006 |
