OP 10 TELEVISION SHOWS IN IRAQ
>
> 1. "Husseinfield"
>
> 2. "Mad About Everything"
>
> 3. "U.S. Military Secret Revealed"
>
> 4. "Suddenly Sanctions"
>
> 5. "Allah McBeal"
>
> 6. "Children are Forbidden from saying Anything Darndest"
>
> 7. "Fatima Loves Chachi"
>
> 8. "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
>
> 9. "Buffy: The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs"
>
> 10. "Matlock"
********************************************************************
Here's a REAL accident report from the Workers'
> Compensation Board.
>
> -------------------
> ----------------------------------------------------
> -Dear Sir;
>
> I am writing in response to your request for additional
> information in
>
> Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor
> Planning" as the
>
> cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation
> and I trust
>
> the following details will be sufficient.
>
> I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I
> was working
>
> alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I
> completed my
>
> work, I found I had some bricks left over which when
> weighed later
>
> were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks
> down by
>
> hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a
> pulley which was
>
> attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.
>
> Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof,
> swung the
>
> barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down
> and untied
>
> the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of
> the 240 lbs
>
> of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form
> that my
>
> weight is 135 lbs.
>
> Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
> suddenly, I lost
>
> my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
> Needless to
>
> say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the
> building.
>
> In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which
> was now
>
> proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This
> explains the
>
> fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken
> collarbone, as listed
>
> in Section 3, accident reporting form.
>
> Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not
> stopping until
>
> the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into
> the pulley
>
> which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence.
> Fortunately
>
> by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
> able to hold
>
> tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I
> was now
>
> beginning to experience.
>
> At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of
> bricks hit the
>
> ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid
> of the
>
> weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50
> lbs.
>
> I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I
> began a rapid
>
> descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of
> the third
>
> floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the
> two
>
> fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of
> my legs and
>
> lower body.
>
> Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with
> the barrel
>
> seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell
> into the
>
> pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were
> cracked.
>
> I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile
> of bricks,
>
> in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six
> stories
>
> above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind
> and let go of
>
> the rope.
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