Well, after composing myself, and having had a few minutes to reflect upon the prior story, I have a comment and a fictitious story...
To start with, has anyone ever heard of a more innovative use of duct tape? I thought I'd heard them all, but will admit that this is a new use.
Now for the "story".
Seems as though the man with the cat as a supplementary appendage, via some indiscreet use of duct tape, is in a morning meeting with the Japanese Minister of Foreign Business Development. The Minister enters the room and our man stands up. The story would be very short were our man not wearing trousers, so let's assume he's properly attired.
As he reaches across the table to shake hands with the Minister, the poor foreigner, who is allergic to cats, begins to sneeze uncontrollably. The cat, stuffed neatly into a pair of men's bikini briefs, begins to meow rather loudly. Between "Bless You's", the Minister notices a rather large bulge in our man's trousers that seems to be wildly thrashing about. The Minister casts a cautionary eye towards the bulge.
Not wanting to be too conspicuous, our man quickly resumes a seated position, but not before accidentally banging the poor feline's head against the edge of the table. Now thoroughly enraged, and in a bit of pain as well, the cat begins to shriek quite loudly, loud enough that people down the hallway in their little cubicles can hear the commotion. The Japanese Minister now has a look of sheer panic on his face, and furtively glances around the room noting all of the available exits.
Whiskers begins to claw his/her way to freedom by clawing anything that dangles within easy reach of his/her little kitty feet. Now it is our man who lets out a blood-curdling shriek. The Minister, making the Sign of the Cross with his hands, bolts for the nearest door, noting copious amounts of blood running down our man's trousers and staining the floor.
At this point the duct tape is shredded, and Whiskers slides down a convenient and available trouser leg and bounds down the hallway to freedom, in front of the entire office staff who have all left their cubicles to witness the incident.
There has to be a moral to every fictitious story, but I can't think of a good one. My apologies to the plaintiffs for making light of the situation, but I really do find the whole thing very funny. I can't for the life of me imagine anyone taking the defendant seriously. Perhaps libel and defamation laws are radically different in Canada than they are in the USA.
KJC
Disclaimer: The story you read above was completely fictitious. Any resemblance to any person(s), living or dead, wherever they may have resided is purely coincidental. |
