some for the road...
Stumpy's beloved old white convertible was in deplorable shape,
but he refused to get rid of it.
So when the old junker was stolen from his office parking lot, his
family was delighted. Nonetheless, they called the police and filed
an insurance claim.
Their relief was short-lived, within an hour an officer was on the
phone.
"We found the car less than a mile away," he said, trying to restrain
himself. "It had a note on it that read, 'Thanks anyway, we'd rather
walk.'"
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A Charlotte, NC man having purchased a box of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire among other things.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in series of small fires".
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason; that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The man sued......and won! In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed that the claim was frivolous.
He stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what is considered to be, "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000.00 for the rare cigars he had lost in the "fires".
HERE COMES THE BEST PART!!
After the man cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to
become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a
suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds
and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you
recognize him?"
The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast
because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture
shows his profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes
the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha!
He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you
two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING
because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best
answer you can come up with?
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to
the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is
your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds"
. . . think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and
says, "Hmmmm . . . the suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really
doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer . . . wait here for a few
minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on
that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the
suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming
smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE!
The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work!
How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular
glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.
happy friday the 13th...
pops |
