Michael, thanks for writing again. There has sbeen a lot of fighting over here, and now suddenly a huge amount of feelings being expressed, most of them very sad and poignant. Like you, I don't understand why arguing and empty intellectuality are so popular at SI. When someone takes time to really express feelings, though, it gets much more interesting and real, and I hope everyone continues to do that.
Speaking of love and fear, and how good writing can get when we deal with these emotions, this is a post from Paul Weiss, who usually jokes a lot and runs the GOOFI thread really well. He took the risk of delving into feelings, which I don't think he does very often at SI, and I thought what he said was touching, to say the least. I'm including his post and my reply, as they really deal with the whole gamut of feelings a lot of people seem to be going through right now:
To: Christine Grace Bartley (300 )
From: Paul Weiss
CGB-- Well, I reckon its safe to look at some feelings. The thread seems
kinda quiet tonight; all the webnappers must be tucked in, sleeping the
guiltless slumber of pirates. So where does one start?
My interpretation of my personal feelings is predicated on the assumption
that there are but two emotions: love and fear. All the other feelings
we experience are based on one or the other. At our core, we act on
feelings of love/fear.
Knowing this, its difficult to wander away from 'love' for very long.
An old friend died on Everest recently, and I felt anger. Until I saw
that it was directed at myself for going to a job I hated daily. Tried to
change the job, but it didn't work (unflexible types). So I quit. Yes,
with love, I gave this summer to me. TBG
To: Paul Weiss (301 )
From: Christine Grace Bartley
Hi, Paul, thanks for dropping by over here. Wow, what a bunch of feelings! I guess the webnappers were all
tucked in--quiet here on a Friday night for sure--in their gently swinging hammocks or sweet single beds
somewhere, lulled to happiness and peace by a trade wind, smiles on their handsome pirate faces, I hope, but
is their slumber guiltless, dreaming of new conquests? I would like to think so, but suspect not. Anyway,
psychologists tend to indentify four primary feelings--love, joy, fear, and anger, or maybe five, where did just
plain hurt go, someone running a feelings thread ought to do some research instead of just winging it--but I go
along with you in simplifying things, there being no real joy without love, for example. I don't know if fear
and anger are always part of the same feeling--maybe someone else would like to respond there. I'm very
sorry to hear about your friend dying. I think maybe the difference between just existing--plodding along--and
true, passionate, out-there living of life is not in the details--for all of us, people in our lives die, we fall in and
out of love, lust and like, we are all sometimes sad, bored, feeling dull and mulling it over--but in what we
ultimately decide to do about what hurts us, the risks we are willing to take to be well and joyously, truly
happy. You did something very brave by being willing to look at underlying issues, trying to sort it all out,
taking risks, changing something, giving yourself space, loving yourself. It's amazing how much room there
is for growth in our lives, even in midlife, a time I thought I would really know most of the answers, and find
now that I don't have a single clue, really. Wishing you all the best, Paul, I think you'll see a lot of brave and
silly little boats sailing along, bobbing in the same waters with you as you go, hopefully safely, on your
journey, feeling sea changes in their lives and flowing along, very much alive and kicking.
Christine |
