Many Happy Returns
After Dad Came Home From Iraq, the Family Deployed to Disney World
By Cindy Loose
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, December 24, 2006; P01
It was the thing that often kept him going during a dangerous deployment near Tikrit, Iraq. On scorching, dusty days and frigid, muddy days, Lt. James "Taylor" Riley would imagine strolling through an immaculately clean theme park, his son Liam on his shoulders, his wife Delacey at his side. All three in this scene were in their shirtsleeves, basking in a warm December sun. By then, Christmas lights would cover trees and bushes; carols would fill the air. He could see it in his mind.
Now, after a 14-month separation, all three pose together with Mickey Mouse, surrounded by red-bowed wreaths and Christmas trees. It's one highlight of their trip to Shades of Green, a Department of Defense-owned resort on Walt Disney World property.
For the Rileys and other military families who have been separated by war, such trips are not merely vacations. They are also reunions, celebrations of life, a means of reconnecting. On any given day, as many as 60 families at Shades of Green are on the resort's R&R package, meaning at least one parent has recently returned from Iraq or Afghanistan, says front office manager Sharon Galzeski. An additional number, which the resort doesn't track, are there squeezing in quality family time pre-deployment.
Taylor, 35, a full-time member of a South Carolina National Guard engineering battalion, had once agreed with Delacey, 37, that they should delay a trip to Disney until Liam was at least 5. But then Taylor was put in charge of a platoon clearing roads of improvised explosive devices. The couple realized they couldn't count on having all the time in the world together. And they needed to focus their minds on something positive.
Disney became that something.
Liam was just over a year old when his father left for the Middle East. He could repeat what he'd been told: "Daddy in 'Raq." But he clearly didn't understand what that meant. Once the family decided to take a post-deployment trip, however, Liam had a concrete idea to attach to his father: "When Daddy comes home, we'll visit Mickey Mouse."
Back home, searching the Web, Delacey stumbled on information about Shades of Green, which was acquired from Disney by the DOD in 1994, and in 2004 underwent a renovation and expansion that doubled its size, to 586 rooms. One of four resorts worldwide operated by the U.S. military for members of the armed services and Department of Defense contractors, it includes swimming pools, lighted tennis courts, a fitness center, a playground and a golf course.
As a recent veteran of the Iraq war, Taylor was eligible for a special R&R package that included breakfast and dinner with the already reasonably priced room of less than $100 a night. Delacey figured they could afford a whole week.
The resorts and other travel deals "help give the military community the same opportunities for a vacation as the people in the society they defend," says Dan Yount, chief of Army Leisure Travel Services. "We believe the benefits of travel and recreation are enormous." For people returning from a deployment, he adds, a vacation is "about getting reacquainted."
Taylor had done his best to maintain strong bonds with his family during two months of training in Washington state and 12 more in Iraq by calling home every day. He'd taken with him copies of four books that Liam also had at home. Each day, about 4:30 p.m., Taylor would line up at a phone booth, storybooks under his arm. Given the eight-hour time difference, that meant that soon after getting up each day, Liam would hear his dad asking, "What do you want to read?"
"The dad book" referred to a story called "Just Me and My Dad." "Where the Wild Things Are" became, in Liam's words, "wild book." Long before the deployment was over, Liam had memorized the books and would correct Taylor if he changed or skipped a word.
Liam learned quickly during the deployment that it didn't help to cry for his father. But at times he'd tearfully announce, "I need my daddy pillow." The pillow was a Delacey creation. She went to a shop near their small town of Edgefield, about 60 miles southwest of Columbia, and had Taylor's picture printed on a T-shirt. Then she cut the shirt into a rectangle and stuffed it. Liam slept with his Daddy pillow every night, his face pressed against the picture of his father's face.
And now, Daddy is back. Liam is holding his father's hand as they walk the freshly swept sidewalks of Animal Kingdom, where Christmas lights cover practically everything that doesn't move, and some things that do move.
"This is our first vacation together, just the three of us," says Taylor as the family passes Minnie Mouse, who's wearing a red velvet Christmas dress. "After a long separation, we just wanted to go away and immerse ourselves in each other."
An Event to Count On
At Disney's MGM park, Taylor points to statues of Huey, Dewey and Louie and asks, "Who are they?"
"Daisy, Donald and Donald," answers Liam.
Taylor smiles and sweeps Liam, who's been looking through a picket fence, onto his shoulders.
The Rileys are on their fifth day of a week-long trip, not including the nine-hour drive each way.
Turns out Liam is not too young to appreciate Disney. He didn't fuss when they got up early each morning to hit one of the four major parks when they opened, or when they stayed out long after dark. On the first four days, they visited one park per day -- Magic Kingdom, MGM, Epcot and Animal Kingdom. Three of those days, they stayed from the time the park opened until at least dinnertime, then returned to the park until closing. On only one day did Liam need a midday break. The couple learned, however, to avoid adventures that were dark and noisy.
His favorite things? "Whatever he's seeing at the moment," Delacey says. "We were at Epcot's Moroccan village when I asked him what was his favorite thing, and he said, 'Morocco.' Every character he sees is his favorite."
Then again, while Taylor was away Delacey had reviewed every detail about Disney World that she could find -- down to each exhibit and ride -- with an eye toward "What would Liam like?"
As we stroll through Animal Kingdom, Delacey says that an elderly woman told Delacey about her husband's deployment during World War II. "I figured that if she could do it for three years, I could do it one." Both Rileys are aware that Taylor might have to return to Iraq. He has 14 years in the National Guard, and plans to stick with it for at least 20.
"After a year away they try to leave you alone for a year, but you never know," he says. "If they need someone, they might need you."
While Taylor was away, Delacey says, she avoided news reports and decided it would be bad for everyone to worry. "There was nothing I could do. I had a sense that Taylor would be fine, and even if things didn't turn out that way, we'd get through it. God gave me peace."
Still, there were difficult, lonely days. Sitting down at the computer and planning their trip added to the excitement of anticipating the homecoming and gave her comfort. On a subconscious level, she says, planning created a feeling of assurance that Taylor was coming home. It's the way an otherwise rational mind works: If you have tickets for a certain date at a certain place, then obviously that's where you'll be when that time comes.
You'll get a five-day Park Hopper pass, hit four parks in four days, and on the fifth day, perhaps because you're too polite to say no, you'll meet a reporter and head first thing in the morning to revisit Animal Kingdom.
Gone but Not Forgotten
We board an open, safari-style vehicle for a ride through terrain that has been made to look African, with big game at every turn. "I smell a skunk, and I think I saw a baby one," Liam pipes up during the ride.
In the Asian section, Taylor hands Liam the laminated map, and the boy pretends to guide us by pointing along a route with curves but no turns.
He waits patiently in line to greet the various characters in the park. By the fifth day, he has the routine down pat. Just before his turn, he asks Mom or Dad for his autograph book. When his moment comes, he gets the signature, poses for a photo and gives a big smile.
Bats are one of his favorite animals, and Animal Kingdom has an exhibit with Malaysian fruit bats with six-foot wing spans -- almost as large as those of American eagles. Healthy-looking animals in the Asian section of the park roam among museum-quality replicas of temple ruins, like those of Angkor Wat.
Throughout the day, the couple shoots pictures, mostly of Liam. By the time the trip is over, they'll have hours of videotape and more than 800 photographs.
When Delacey takes Liam for a potty break, Taylor confides that his biggest worry about going to Iraq was that Liam would forget him. A colleague who went to Iraq before Taylor did told him that his youngest was frightened of him when he returned.
By the time Taylor arrived in Iraq, phone access was better. Occasionally he'd also get on a webcam so that Liam could see him, even though the connection wasn't fast enough to allow him to be heard as well as seen. Meanwhile, Delacey regularly videotaped Liam and sent footage to Taylor.
"I watched Liam growing up on film," Taylor says.
People back home sent Taylor prepaid phone cards. One set of phones on the base allowed for calls costing only 4 cents a minute, but there were usually long lines for those, and calls were limited to 30 minutes. For phone access costing 29 cents a minute, the wait was usually a relatively short 20 to 30 minutes, and he could talk as long as his phone card held out.
Taylor says he got amazing support from back home. Delacey created an e-mail group list, and people she knew sent the address to their friends. Soon the list grew to more than 200.
"People I never met would send e-mails saying, 'I wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you; I'm praying for you,' " Taylor says. Delacey had been a teacher, and former colleagues had classes write him letters. Taylor would distribute some to men and women who got little mail.
The minute Taylor returned to the States, it became clear he needn't have worried about being forgotten by his young son. He arrived with his battalion on a drill field at Fort Stewart, Ga., and marched in formation toward an area where Delacey and Liam were among those waiting.
While sitting in the sunshine on a patio outside the Shades of Green, Delacey remembers that day.
"Liam was kicking his feet and saying he was going to run to his daddy as soon as he saw him," Delacey says. "The mass finally parted, and there he was. The two just melted into each other's arms."
Focusing on What's Important
Children even in their first year can miss their parents, says T. Berry Brazelton, the famed pediatrician who recently released an updated edition of "Touchpoints: Birth to 3." The many thousands of American children with parents in Iraq or Afghanistan "are going through a lot more than we know," he says.
Brazelton approves of the Rileys' handling of the situation. "The children who get that kind of attention will be resilient and sail through," he says.
Taking a vacation -- and it doesn't matter where it is -- gives the members of any family an important chance to step outside their normal responsibilities and focus purely on each other, Brazelton says. It's particularly critical to a family that has been torn asunder.
Back at Disney's MGM during the Rileys' last day in the park, the family joins the crowd awaiting the start of a parade. Numerous adults pull out video cameras to tape the characters and vehicles passing by.
Taylor tapes the parade for a mere second, just for context, then turns his back on it. He trains his lens on Liam. The memory he captures is not of the main event, but of Liam's reaction to it. |
