i sees. here's a joke i just found on kitco:
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change
the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven,
you had to have a really bummer day on the day that you died.
The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.
So, the next day at 12:01, the first person came to the gates of Heaven.
The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man,
"Before I let you in, I need to know how your day was going when you
died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment my lunch
hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in sight.
I immediately began searching for him. My wife was half naked and yelling at
me as I searched the entire apartment." "Just as I was about to give up,
I happened to glance out on to the balcony and noticed that there was a man
hanging off the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped
on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some
trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off even more.
"In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw
at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it,
pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories
and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart
attack and died almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day.
It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announces, "OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom
of Heaven."
A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it was James Carville.
"Mr. Carville, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when
you died.
Carville said, "No problem." "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony
of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure
so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped,
and accidentally fell over the side!
Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the finger tips on the balcony below mine."
"But, all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing,
and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom
which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there, face up on the ground,
unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this same guy push his refrigerator, of all
things, off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Carville finishes his story,
"I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces.
"Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven."
A few seconds later, President Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost too
shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the Angel's head.
Finally he says, "Mr. President, please tell me what it was like the day you died."
"Clinton says," OK, picture this, I'm naked inside a refrigerator..." |
