Now here is a sad tale but true, just sort of tugs at the old heart strings and brings a tear to the eye after reading the following:-
Friday 4 July 1997
The perils of a high-tech life
High-tech and great sex? Not when you're
working 80 hours a week, writes Colin
Freeze.
Colin Freeze
The Ottawa Citizen; additional reporting from The Associated Press.
When Windows 95 came out a couple of
years ago, Microsoft proudly announced its
developers "tested, tuned, toiled, fiddled,
futzed, fixed, played, prepared, previewed,
polished and polished some more."
It's just too bad all that is going on in the office
and not the bedroom, says famous sex
therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
In June, Dr. Ruth toured the company's
Redmond, Washington, facility. And,
according to an employee newsletter, she
diagnosed Microsoft employees as suffering
from all work and no play. After all, Dr. Ruth
said, it's difficult to "have time to have good
sex if you work 80 hours a week. ... Human
relationships and touching cannot be replaced
by any computer."
Publishers of the Microsoft newsletter thought the remarks amusing, but a
company spokesman says Dr. Ruth is off the mark. But ask one of her
Canadian counterparts and she'll tell you Dr. Ruth is really onto something.
Sue McGarvie, an Ottawa sex therapist who hosts the popular Sunday
Night Sex with Sue radio program, said that high technology can be
high-risk for relationships.
"I once did a workshop at one of those big high-tech firms in Kanata," Ms.
McGarvie said.
She spoke to a manager who said one-quarter of his technical engineers
were on stress leave.
Discussing the matter with him, Ms. McGarvie pointed to the demographics
of the group -- most were between 25 and 40, many had moved away from
their home towns and many were unable to form relationships.
"These were the computer geeks in high school who never learned how to
socialize with women," Ms. McGarvie said.
In fact, relationships are common problem for all her clients.
"About 15 per cent of my practice are guys who are saying how they can't
meet women."
For Ms. McGarvie, "sex is the second most basic need" after food. For
social recluses working long hours, high-tech offices can resemble
"Romanian orphanages" where children deprived of human contact quickly
died off.
Low sex drive because of too much work, she says, often hits married
couples.
"By the time you get home and put your kids to bed, you're ready to drop,"
she says.
Having irregular sex isn't healthy, she says, and in the long run it can destroy
a relationship.
Ms. McGarvie is herself a chronic worker who says she puts in 80-hour
weeks. To counter negative effects this might have on her marriage --
high-tech workers take note -- she actually pencils sex time into her agenda.
"You always have to put your relationship first."
Sex therapists seem quick to point out the stresses that come with high-tech
jobs -- but companies and their workers are slow to acknowledge them.
Yesterday, outside of Corel's Carling Avenue building, most employees said
their social lives were not suffering, despite the long hours.
"I have deadlines and everything, but they don't stop you from taking a
vacation if you need it," said 22-year-old software developer Tanuja Vaish.
"If there is a deadline to meet you do have to work overtime. But there is
free time you can use it to your advantage."
But a few said long hours can have an impact on personal lives.
One said a co-worker lost his girlfriend around "crunch time," and he set off
to win her back once the workload relaxed. Another worker said his wife
might be inclined to agree with Dr. Ruth -- he is working a bit too much for
a healthy relationship at home.
Representatives of Microsoft in Redmond said the company actually
encourages people to develop a social side.
"It's true we have people who put in some really crazy hours," said
Microsoft's John Pinette."They're hard workers, but they also work hard at
having a balanced life."
He said Microsoft encourages employees to be physically fit and be socially
active. Sports such as jogging, softball and soccer are often enjoyed on the
Redmond campus, which is bordered by lush forests.
Incidentally, on her tour, Dr. Ruth suggested to Microsoft employees that
woodsy surroundings are not just great scenery. She said they would make
great spots for a "romantic interlude." |
