Best of the Web Today - December 17, 2004
By JAMES TARANTO
'Best' Takes a Holiday
We're on vacation next week, returning Tuesday, Dec. 28, so this column won't be published until then. If you need something to read in the meantime, we suggest "Presidential Leadership: Rating the Best and Worst in the White House," available from the OpinionJournal bookstore. It makes a great Christmas gift, too.
Reuters: We'll Take the Terrorist's Word for It
"An Australian terror suspect was offered the services of a prostitute by the U.S. military if he agreed to spy on other detainees held at the Guantanamo Bay base in Cuba, according to court documents," Reuters "reports." What are the "court documents" that back up this claim? The "news" service explains:
"Interrogators once offered me the services of a prostitute for 15 minutes if I would spy on other detainees. I refused," [David] Hicks said in the affidavit, which is dated Aug. 5 and witnessed by his U.S. military lawyer Major Michael Mori.
Reuters is willing to accept the testimony of a terrorist--or, as they say in Reuterville, a "terrorist"--as if it were a matter of fact, no matter how outlandish it is. Meanwhile, Reuters published the following correction this morning (ellipses in original):
Please read headline as "Michael Jackson to invite visitors to Neverland" . . . instead of . . . "Jackson to throw kids holiday party at Neverland" and in first paragraph ". . . open to a group of visitors on Friday."
In second paragraph please read "Jackson spokeswoman Raymone Bain said the pop music star had invited a group of people to visit the fairy-tale ranch. She declined to identify the group but said such invitations were regularly extended to various groups, including church members. She said a member of his entourage had incorrectly described the event as a holiday party for groups of children." (Corrects to show event is not a holiday party for children, correction from source.)
Apparently the word gullible doesn't appear in the Reuters stylebook.
Friends of Rachel Corrie
Speaking of Reuters' gullibility, here's a passage from a dispatch on the collapse of a smuggling tunnel between Egypt and Gaza, which killed five Palestinian Arabs:
Militants have dug many tunnels from Egypt into Gaza to slip in arms but other tunnels have been used solely to smuggle contraband like cigarettes. It was unclear whether the tunnel that caved in had been burrowed by militants or traders.
Maybe all those Rachel Corrie defenders were right when they said it was unfair of us to call her a terror advocate. She might have just been a pawn of Big Tobacco.
What Liberal Media?
From an Associated Press dispatch on Bill Moyers's retirement from his PBS show, "Now":
One example of typically good journalism on "Now" not long ago: an in-depth look at the record of President Bush's nominee for secretary of state, Condoleeza Rice, who in her post as national security adviser "dreadfully misjudged the terrorist threat leading up to 9/11, and then misled America and the world about the case for invading Iraq," Moyers concluded.
We have nothing against opinionated journalism, as you might expect, but the AP is supposed to be a straight news source. Does Moyers's attack on Rice really meet its definition of "good journalism"?
The 'Buy Blue' Conundrum
Yesterday we noted that Web sites have sprung up encouraging Democrats to give their business to companies that are sources of political donations to Democrats. This turns out to involve some difficult choices:
o ChoosetheBlue.com's listing of television networks shows that Fox News Channel, supposedly part of the "vast right-wing conspiracy," is "blue," with 61% of News Corp. donations going to Democrats. NBC and its sister cable networks, however are "red," with 67% of General Electric's donations going to Republicans. Oh well, at least liberals can watch Peter Jennings (Disney-owned ABC, 70% Democratic) or Dan Rather (Viacom-owned CBS, 78% Democratic). For some reason, CNN, owned by Time-Warner, isn't listed.
o Want a car? The only "blue" auto maker is Toyota (New United Motor Manufacturing, 74% Democratic). But its political donations are so paltry that all the "red" automakers donated more to Dems than NUMM, and among car dealers all listed Toyota sellers are "red."
o As we noted yesterday, among retailers Wal-Mart is "red" (80% Republican) and Costco is "blue" (98% Democratic). But in a much talked-about New York Times magazine piece in July, one Amy Richards, an abortion advocate, revealed that she had "selectively reduced"--i.e., aborted--two of the three children she was carrying so that she wouldn't "have to start shopping only at Costco and buying big jars of mayonnaise." If only she'd known!
A Bridge Too Far
"San Francisco supervisors want voters to approve a sweeping handgun ban that would prohibit almost everyone except law enforcement officers, security guards and military members from possessing firearms in the city," the Associated Press reports.
Advocates of the ban present it as a suicide-prevention measure. Says Bill Barnes, an aide to Supervisor Chris Daly: "We know that for even law-abiding folks who own guns, the rates of suicide and mortality are substantially higher. So while just perceived to be a crime thing, we think there is a wide benefit to limiting the number of guns in the city."
We think he's wrong about mortality rates, which as far as we know are 100% for gun owners and gun shunners alike. But he may be right that gun owners are at risk of suicide. Good thing San Francisco doesn't have any bridges.
Auto-Vandalism
Back in March, a vandal spray-painted racial slurs on a car owned by Kerri Francis Dunn, then a professor at California's University of Redlands. On Wednesday the vandal was sentenced to a year in state prison. The vandal's name: Kerri Frances Dunn.
"Thousands of students attended a March 10 protest against intolerance led by Dunn, at which she described herself as a 'victim of terrorism,' " reports the Riverside Press-Enterprise. Turns out the whole thing was a hoax. As Jordan Kunz, a 20-year-old student at Pomona College who attended the rally, says: "She toyed with us. Some people were let down and feel like they have been taken advantage of."
We Wish You a Merry Kerfuffle
The Jewish Exponent's Jonathan Tobin reports on "the latest utterly ridiculous 'December dilemma' kerfuffle":
A purportedly Jewish caller to Fox TV News talker Bill O'Reilly's radio program on Dec. 3 named "Joel" said that he grew up resenting Christmas, and felt that the underlying purpose of Christmas carols sung in public schools and accompanying gift exchanges was "to set the [non-Christian] kids up to being converted."
O'Reilly responded by more or less telling the caller to get a life.
"What I'm tellin' you is I think you're takin' it too seriously," O'Reilly said. "You have a predominantly Christian nation. You have a federal holiday based on the philosopher Jesus. And you don't wanna hear about it? Come on, if you are really offended, you gotta go to Israel then."
That prompted an official letter from Abraham H. Foxman, national director of the Anti-Defamation League, taking the master of the "no-spin zone" to the proverbial woodshed for inciting, so he supposed, for the ethnic cleansing of America.
This is one of those disputes in which both sides are about equally annoying. Joel probably should get a life, but O'Reilly's comment that he should "go to Israel" was excessive all the same. After all, as Tobin writes, "American Jews have every right to be tired of Christmas."
Then again, Foxman's "ethnic cleansing" suggestion is pretty over the top too. And Foxman may not be the most reliable authority on church-state issues. In a New York Sun column yesterday, he wrote:
The text of the Constitution makes no reference to the government's religious neutrality as simply guaranteeing impartial treatment among religious denominations. The First Amendment clearly states that "Congress shall make no law respecting the Establishment of religion . . . or the free exercise thereof." These plain words convey a simple but powerful message: Government may not support religion of any kind nor interfere with anyone's religious observance.
The ellipsis is his, and this is a blatant dowdification; the ellipsis isn't even in the right place. What the First Amendment actually says (emphasis ours) is:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof . . .
There's a big difference between respecting and prohibiting, is there not?
Meanwhile, KOMO, a Seattle radio station, reports that an atheist couple, Sidney and Jennifer Stock, are demanding that the city of Bellevue, Wash., remove a tree from City Hall, even though "they don't actually call it a Christmas tree":
"We call it the 'giving tree' because it's meant as a season of giving and that's what it's for," explained Patrice Cole, who just made a donation.
The tree is adorned with requests for gifts from needy families. It generates nearly $25,000 worth of donations.
"I resent it," says Sidney Stock. Adds Jennifer: "There are a lot of people who've come to this country, maybe have been here for years, who don't feel freedom to say anything. So we feel we're saying it for those people. Not just for ourselves."
Surely everyone can agree that the Stocks should get a life.
Homelessness Rediscovery Watch
"If George W. Bush becomes president, the armies of the homeless, hundreds of thousands strong, will once again be used to illustrate the opposition's arguments about welfare, the economy, and taxation."--Mark Helprin, Oct. 31, 2000
"Security Pushes Homeless Into Perilous Straits"--headline, Chicago Tribune, Dec. 17
"Homeless, Jobless and Often Ailing"--headline, Minneapolis Star Tribune, Dec. 17
"Hungry and Homeless Ranks Swell in U.S. Cities"--headline, World Socialist Web Site, Dec. 17
"Baseball's Homeless Franchise"--headline, New York Times, Dec. 16
A Liberal Columnist Proselytizes
Yesterday's Homelessness Rediscovery Watch brought a response in print from the man whose column it cited, Nick Coleman of the Minneapolis Star Tribune:
Dang me, I left out the important part: Mary and Joseph weren't homeless; they were just being shoved around by Democrats. And it's only because the Democrats have been laid low by Republicans that we are hearing anything about homeless scum now. That's what one Christian columnizer wrote on the Wall Street Journal online opinion site Thursday, citing my homeless column in little old Minneapolis as proof of a four-year-old prediction that the Democrats would crank up homeless stories if George W. Bush were elected.
Why does Coleman assume we are Christian? Taranto is as often as not a Jewish name, and our item that cited him made no reference to religion. As far as we can remember the only time this column has ever said anything about our religious beliefs or lack thereof was in an Oct. 18 item in which we noted that a supporter of George W. Bush had described the president as "an instrument of God," and we remarked that "we are generally skeptical about such things, so we would say the probability is very low that Bush is an instrument of God."
We view our religious beliefs as a private matter, and while we occasionally opine on religious matters, it is usually in a philosophical rather than a theological vein. Our job as a columnist is not to proselytize. Coleman evidently sees his job differently: He opens his column today by declaring that he is a Christian and then proceeds to berate his supposedly Christian readers for not accepting his biblically informed liberal orthodoxy about "homelessness."
Well, that's fine. We have no objection to public expression of religion or even (unlike many liberals) to people who base their political views on their religious ones. But as David Gelernter points out, it can be quite off-putting "when a deadly earnest young Christian approaches, displays an infuriating though subliminal holier-than-thouness, and tries to convert me." This is no less true when the deadly earnest Christian is liberal and not so young.
Zero-Tolerance Watch
Chloe Smith, a 14-year-old eighth-grader in Mustang, Okla., was "kicked out of school after drugs were found in her locker," reports the Enid News:
Smith wasn't in possession of marijuana or cocaine, but prescription hormones she takes for a chronic condition, polycystic ovarian disease.
During a routine sweep of the school, a drug dog "hit" on her locker. Administrators checked and found the prescription hormones in her purse.
Technically Chloe did violate the rules, which require that students taking prescription drugs surrender them to the school office, which supervises their administration. But the News says it was an honest mistake: "She forgot to take the pills out of her purse after a family outing the evening before."
The paper reports that "the district has agreed to reduce Chloe's suspension to 10 days if she agrees to eight hours of mandatory drug counseling and monthly urinalysis screening." Her parents, quite understandably, say no dice.
What Would We Do Without Experts?
"Experts: Smoking's Smoking, Even if It's Social"--headline, Wausau (Wis.) Daily Herald, Dec. 17
What Would Judges Do Without Experts on Pop-Tarts?
"Judge Allows Expert on Pop-Tarts To Testify in Flaming Pastry Lawsuit"--headline, New York Sun, Dec. 17
Intercontinental Streetcars
"The old-fashioned streetcar, which had nearly clanged into oblivion by the end of the 20th century, has been making a sleek comeback with new lines opening from Sydney to Paris, Buenos Aires to Houston," the Associated Press reports from Geneva.
Good to know, but if we ever need to get from Sydney to Paris or Buenos Aires to Houston, we're flying.
This Actually Does Sound Pretty Scary
"Beware Wolves Howling About Social Security"--headline, Quad-City Times (Davenport, Iowa), Dec. 14
Talk About Speaking Ill of the Dead!
"Ol' Dirty Bastard Died of Accidental Overdose"--headline, Soulshine ("Canada's essential guide to new music"), Dec. 16
But Even One Complaint Is One Too Many
"VA Cemeteries Score Highest in Satisfaction Survey"--headline, Department of Veterans Affairs press release, Dec. 17
Are We Not Men? We Are TiVo!
The New York Times has a fascinating contribution to the growing science of TiVology. It seems TiVo Inc., which makes the devices that allow you to TiVo shows and watch them later, doesn't like the way the language has been TiVolving. "The company has recently stepped up efforts to police just how its trademark is used in a sentence":
Using TiVo as a verb, for instance--as in "to TiVo" or "I TiVoed 'The Apprentice' last night"--is forbidden.
The company has begun sending letters to news organizations whenever it sees the term misused. "We've gotten more aggressive," said Kathryn Kelly, a TiVo spokeswoman. "It's a much more talked-about subject now."
Running a close second among uses the company frowns on is "TiVo-like."
Well, fine, we're happy to say "TiVoesque" or "TiVoish" if it'll make the TiVocrats happy. But we have two TiVos, including one of those nifty new Pioneer DVDVos, and if we can't TiVo shows with them, we've wasted an awful lot of money.
Among the usages to which the TiVoids object is one from "Sex in the City," a program we never watch, much less TiVo:
"While I'm eating a slice of pizza, my boyfriend is home taping my favorite TV show," Miranda . . . said in an episode last year.
"And to which boyfriend are we referring?" asked Carrie.
"My boyfriend, TiVo," Miranda replied.
Apparently TiVo swings both ways; in 2002 The Wall Street Journal (link for subscribers) reported that 32-year-old Basil Iwanyk "suspected that his TiVo thought he was gay, since it inexplicably kept recording programs with gay themes." Could this be a clue to the identity of "the boyfriend" of AndrewSullivan.com fame? |
