Clinton's Hell
Bill Clinton passed away and went to Hell. The Devil said to him,
"Since you're the President, you get a choice of eternal punishments.
You can look behind these three doors and choose what punishment you
want. However, you cannot go back to a door, you either choose that
punishment or reject it and move on. You must accept one punishment."
Bill opens the first door, and sees Richard Nixon at the bottom of a deep
pit. The pit is red-hot. Demons stand around the rim of the pit,
throwing sharp rocks down on Nixon's head. Bill says, "No way could I
take that for all eternity." He moves to the second door.
He opens the second door, and sees Franklin Roosevelt strapped into his
wheelchair. Demons push FDR's wheelchair down a steep ski jump. FDR
flies through the air and lands in a briar patch. The demons drag FDR
out and drag him up to the top of the ski jump for another trip. Bill
says, "I couldn't take that for all eternity." He moves to the third
door.
He opens the third door, and sees a damp, musty dungeon. Judge Starr is
shackled to the wall. Monica Lewinsky is on her knees in front of Ken
Starr, demonstrating her talent for oral ministrations.
Bill turns to the Devil and says, "Now I can sure spend eternity in this
place."
The Devil says, "Very well. Miss Lewinsky, you can go now. Your
replacement has arrived. |
