I Am Your Worst Nightmare.
I am a BAD American.
I am George Carlin.
#1. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my
family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a
bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
#2. I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy
Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.
#3. I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
#4. I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
#5. I don't think being a minority makes you noble or
victimized.
#6. I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.
#7. I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a
shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
#8. I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
#9. I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.
#10. I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her
God.
#11. My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman."
#12. I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
#13. I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time
arguing about it.
#14. I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't
wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out
of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted
by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-#$%!-up
#15. I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money? And why is he always part of the problem and not the solution?
#16. think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry
ass if you're running from them.
#17. I also think they have the right to pull your ass
over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color
you
are.
#18. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot
works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the
most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
#19. I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to help them survive their sorry life. These people should be targets.
#20. I think if you are in the passing lane, and not
passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
#21. I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
#22. I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want
them, but please don't pretend they are a political
statement.
#23. I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
#24. I think beef jerky may well be the world's most
perfect food.
#25. I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD
American. If you too are a BAD American please forward this
to every other BAD American you know. |
