And while enjoying the customary water ( and hard water too..lol) torture slow trickle down ...some more off topic wasted space. A funny college application essay .....sounds like a potential AXC shareholder. ; - )
The applicant writes.....
<<I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have
> been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more
> efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for
> Cuban refugees. I write award-winning operas. I manage time efficiently.
>
> Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my
> sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe
> inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in
> twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw
> in Peru.
>
> Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly
> defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious
> army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the
> subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large
> suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays,
> after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
>
> I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.
> Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening-wear. I
> don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have
> been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I
> toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat
> .400.
>
> My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany
> circles. Children trust me.
>
> I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I
> once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and
> still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the
> exact location of every food in the supermarket. I have performed several
> covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; and when I do sleep,
> I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated
> with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of
> physics do not apply to me.
>
> I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On
> weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years
> ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have
> made extraordinary four course meals using only a toaster oven.
>
> I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan,
> cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.
> I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have
> spoken with Elvis.
>
> But I have not yet gone to college.>> |
