> RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR:
>
> You know that book Men are from Mars, Women from Venus?
> Well, here's a prime example of that. This assignment was actually
> turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted) and
> Gary (last name deleted)
> First, the Assignment: English 44A SMU Creative Writing
> Prof. Miller
> In-class Assignment for Wednesday
>
> Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
> The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person
> sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the
> first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first
> paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person
> will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to
> re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story
> coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been
> reached.
>
> And now, the Assignment as submitted by Rebecca & Gary:
> ------------------------------------------------------------
>
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
> now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
> that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs,
> keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if
> she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So
> chamomile was out of the question.
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
> squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think
> about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie
> with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris
> to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar
> orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could
> sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and
> blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct
> hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he
> felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman
> who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
> pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
> "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space
> Travel." Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
> simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
> dreaming of her youth - when the days had passed unhurriedly and
> carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from
> her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
> "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
> wistfully.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to
> live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
> launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted
> wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament
> Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the
> hostilealien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.
> Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships
> were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
> entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their
> diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
> unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine
> headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
> inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85
> million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the
> conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty!
> Let's blow'em out of the sky!"
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts
> at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> A**H*le.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> B**ch.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> |
