AHA! I thought perhaps Brando in a wet t-shirt might lure you out. Or the dinner party or the female henparty. But it was Va. Woolf...well, whatever works!
About Woolf, the way in which she "had" Leonard that was most important was that he was extremely supportive of her talent, and allowed her her "room of her own" and she his. Her marriage was completely untraditional, though she revealed little of its inner workings, except that it was not sexual. They were wonderful companions. And after years of marriage, can many say that companionship has not become the more prevailing component of their marriage than that original passion?
Until women began to speak out, the role we played was, as someone wrote- can't remember who-, "a spectator to someone else's life". I remember my mother saying about a friend of hers who put on airs, "WHo does she think she is just because her husband graduated from Yale?" ANd another time, she warned me that women are defined by their husbands and I should choose with that in mind. It took a brave woman to defy that and attempt to create her own definition. Sexton, Kumin, Chopin, Rich, Levertov, Plath. (And a lot of breakdowns and suicides!)
I sure identify with Heilbrun's feeling that women are often well beyond youth when they begin to create another story for themselves. |
