OTOT
This is a nice read, funny and true!
This is an actual essay written by a college applicant. The
> >author, Hugh
> >Gallagher, was admitted to NYU.
> >
> >Essay: In order for the admissions staff of our college to get to
> >know you,
> >the applicant, better, we ask that you answer the following
> >question: Are
> >there any significant experiences you have had, to define you as
> >a person?
> >
> >I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice.
> > I have
> >been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks,
> >making them more
> >efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for
> >Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time
> >efficiently.
> >Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
> >
> >I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I
> >can pilot
> >bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook
> >Thirty-Minute
> >Brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in
> >love, and
> >an outlaw in Peru.
> >
> >Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once
> >single-handedly
> >defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of
> >ferocious army
> >ants. I play Bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Met's, I am
> >the subject
> >of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large
> >suspension
> >bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On
> >Wednesdays, after
> >school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
> >
> >I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless
> >bookie.
> >Critics world wide swoon over my original line of corduroy
> >evening wear. I
> >don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I
> >have
> >been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes.
> >Last Summer, I
> >toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force
> >demonstration. I bat
> >.400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in
> >international
> >botany circles. Children trust me.
> >
> >I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly
> >accuracy. I
> >one read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in
> >one day and
> >still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I
> >know the
> >exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have
> >performed
> >covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do
> >sleep I
> >sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully
> >negotiated
> >with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The
> >laws of
> >physics do not apply to me.
> >
> >I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On
> >weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full contact origami.
> >Years
> >ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I
> >have
> >made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a
> >toaster oven.
> >I breed prize winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan,
> >cliff-diving competitions in Sri-Lanka, and spelling bees at the
> >Kremlin.
> >I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I
> >have
> >spoken with Elvis.
> >
> >But I have not yet gone to college.
> >
> >
> >
>
> |
