Reading with some interest the postings from yesterday and trying to decide whether to venture any personal opinions ..
So much of what you base your opinions on is your own early life experiences, many of which have come across as almost nightmarish and frequently out of the ordinary- certainly out of MY ordinary. I have to remind myself that if that is the basis for beliefs, then my life and experiences have no less validity.
I would never presume to judge the efficacy or healthiness of your childrearing practices. You seem to find the results satisfactory.
SInce my boys are only 16 and 18, I guess I can't announce what a success ours have been, but we have very differing approaches!
We have never glossed over sex with silly stories, or not answered questions directly, but we have taken a much slower approach than you to sexual knowledge and activity. Most of the "sexual teachings" you gave your sons, seem to me to be no more than an extension of the way we want our boys to behave toward everyone- with consideration, and honesty, and respect. Personally I would never confront small children with the technical details of the act. Sex is a natural and beautiful thing when one is old enough to comprehend commitment and responsibility, but for smaller children, it can be a very strange and confusing thing indeed.
Of course, I have different feelings than you about the place of sex in an adolescent's life. My guess is that there is no one right way to raise a child, and that some of the success will depend on the comfort level of the parent with what they're teaching.
I'm also from the South, so I realize that ruins any credibility I could have as a reasonable, rational human being. |
