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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!!

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To: The Philosopher who wrote (40742)	6/18/1999 3:57:00 PM
From: Sam Ferguson	Read Replies (1) of 108807

<<The true test of what you believe will come when you are dying and know it. Until then, everything is a Beta lifestyle.>> I believe you will find this to be an old wives tale. I have been to that point where It went so far as to have the plug pulled on all life support and funeral arranged. Prior to going in a coma I knew it would take a miracle to live long enough to wake up from operations. My relation to my maker was in no way connected to Jesus and I had no worries of hell. I neither had any visons of Heaven. Mostly what I thought about was all the things I meant to do before I died and would not be able to finish. I had complete trust that whatever happened would be for my benefit. I came to 3 days after they pulled life support and started getting better. That happened 14 years ago and the team of Doctors called it a miracle and so did family and friends. They started tube feedings again but left dialysis machine and breathing machine disconnected. I went home from the hospital 5 weeks later for a long period of rehab. I have mixed emotions on Christianity. I love the people and their efforts to be tops in morality. I hate the Church dogma and harm it has done to separate people from God and other well meaning people. I despise the tax exeptions for churchs. I despise preachers telling little children they are born sinners and creating fear in them. I despise the proselyters who come claiming to have salvation and offering it to me. I am not lost and not born in sin. I am me. I love me. I have to live by my actions and expect to be responsible for them. I don't want Jesus or anyone else dying for me. I prefer to die for myself.

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