A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly
gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have you done to merit
entrance into Heaven?"
The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave
a quarter to a homeless person on the street."
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record,
and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.
Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really
quite enough to get you into Heaven."
The Lawyer said, "Wait Wait! There's more! Three years ago
I also gave a homeless person a quarter."
Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded
back, affirming this, too, had been verified.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you
suggest we do with this fellow?"
Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to
Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell
him to go to Hell."
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