Have you all seen this response to chain letters? Feel free to use:
>> THE SEVEN BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
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>> Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down)
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>> Make a wish!!!
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>> Really, go on and make one!!!
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>> Oh please.... they'll never go out with you!!!
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>> Wish something else!!!
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>> Not that, you moron!!!
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>> Something else! Quick!!!
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>> Is your finger getting tired yet?
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>> STOP!!!!
>> Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish.
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>> Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if
>> you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you
>> will be attacked by a mad goat and then thrown off a high building
>> into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, you know, THIS letter isn't
>> like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
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>> Really!!! Here's how it goes:
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>> *Send this to 1 person: One person will be mad at you for
>> sending Them a stupid chain letter.
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>> Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be mad at you for
>> sending them a stupid chain letter.
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>> *5-10 people: 5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them
>> a stupid chain letter. 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be mad at you
>> for sending them a stupid chain letter.
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>> 20 to 674, 951 people: 20 to 674, 951 people will be mad at
>> you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
>> Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
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>> Chain Letter Type 2
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>> Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there
>> is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no
>> arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could
>> be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar
>> will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy
>> from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no way of
>> counting letters sent and this is all bull. So go on, reach out.
>Send
>> this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you
>> accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
>> Thanks again!!
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>> Chain Letter Type 3
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>> Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897.
>> This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then
>> and probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters.
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>> So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the
>> next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
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>> Stupid Horror Story #1
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>> Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday.
>> She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then
>> tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed
>> down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a
>> waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.
>> This Could Happen To You!!!
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>> Stupid Horror Story #2
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>> Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail
>> and ignored it.Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
>> girlfriend. They both died. Their families were so upset that
>> everyone related to them (even by marriage) went crazy and spent the
>> rest of their miserable lives in an institution.
>> This Could Happen To You!!!
>> Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just
>> send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be
>> OK.
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>> Chain Letter Type 4:
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>> As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to
>> every one of your friends.
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>> Friends
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>> -A friend is someone who is always at your side,
>> -A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like
>> poop,
>> -A friend is someone who likes you even though you're
>> disgustingly ugly,
>> -A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've
>> soiled yourself,
>> -A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you
>> cry about your loser life,
>> -A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they
>> really think you should be attacked by a mad goat and then
>> thrown in a pile of manure,
>> -A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and
>> then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English,
>> no sorry -that's the cleaning lady,
>> -A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because
>> he wants his wish of being rich to come true. Now pass this on!
>> If you don't, you'll be eaten by wild goats.
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>> Chain Letter Type 5:
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>> This e-mail is wicked-cool! It was started by Microsoft to
>> test its e-mail tracking system because, you know, a big high-tech
>> company like Microsoft always sends important new software out over
>> the internet to be available to any moron who can operate a computer,
>> right? Plus, they have formed a secret merger with Disney Corp., who
>has
>> agreed to give up millions of dollars in revenue by giving everyone
>who
>> reads this e-mail, passes it on, looks at it, knows someone that
>looked
>> at it, or is related to someone who is a friend of someone who looks
>at it
>> A FREE, ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP to Disneyland, DisneyWorld, or
>> EuroDisney! So pass this on to everyone you know that is gullible
>enough
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>> believe this (or not)! Even if it's not true, hey insulting all of
>your
>> friends by implying that they are gullible by sending this to them is
>> worth the improbable chance that you could go to Disneyland! Even if
>> you lose all of your friends because they are tired of receiving this
>kind
>> of junk from you, it's worth the chance, right? And just for good
>> measure,
>> if you don't send this on, Microsoft will send its specially trained
>> attack-goats to pilfer your house and eat all of your family, SO SEND
>IT
>> ON!!!!!
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>> Chain Letter Type 6:
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>> VIRUS WARNING!!!
>> If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately.
>> Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only
>> erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything
>> on disks within 20 feet of your computer.
>> It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
>> It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on
>> your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you
>> attempt to play. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness
>> settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will
>> program your phone AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law's number.
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>> So be careful! Forward this to all of your friends, relatives,
>> neighbors, family, enemies, plumbers, garbagemen, stock
>> brokers, doctors, and any other acquaintances! It's for their
>> own good! Thank you.
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>> Chain Letter Type 7:
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>> Here is a cute picture I drew.
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>> (\ /)
>> ( \ / )
>> ( \ / )
>> ( /<>\ )
>> ( / \/ \ )
>> / \ __
>> ( ) ( )
>> ~~~~
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>> It is a decapitated angel. Send it on to all of your friends
>> so it will brighten their day like it did yours! If you don't,
>> demon-possessed goats will move into your house and eat all
>> of your socks, leading you to believe that something is wrong
>> with your washing machine because all of your socks keep
>> disappearing. Have a nice day!!!
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>> There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the seven main
>> types of chain letters, onto the ironic part. In order for this to get
>> any popularity, send it on!!! If you don't think it was funny at all,
> don't bother, but otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!! If you
>don't, I don't care, but why not show this around? Take two minutes
>and forward it.
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>Thanks!
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>Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain
>letter, ignore it. If it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's
>gonna
>make people feel guilty (i.e., the goatless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen)
>or nervous (i.e., Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of turds)
>just delete it.
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>Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say,
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>DEATH TO CHAIN LETTERS!!
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> |
