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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions
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To: Susie924 who wrote (1063)6/28/1999 6:26:00 PM
From: Katt-000  Read Replies (2) of 2380
 
"WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A WOMAN"

Free drinks.
Free dinners.
Free movies (you get the point).
You can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay.
You can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay.
Speeding ticket? What's that?
New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
If you have to be home in time for Melrose Place, you can say so, out loud.
It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.
Brad Pitt.
You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper.
No one passes out when you take off your shoes.
If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her butt.
If you have a zit, you can conceal it.
You never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still there.
If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.
You have the ability to dress yourself.
If you're wearing cologne, you don't have to pretend it's aftershave.
You'll probably never see someone you know while peeing in an alley.
You'll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.
There are times when chocolate really Can solve all your problems.
You've never had a goatee.
You'll never regret piercing your ears.
You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
You don't have hair on your back.
You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.

"WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY"

The garage is all yours.
The Basement is all yours.
The remote is all yours.
The Attic is all yours.
Phone conversations last 30 seconds.
You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes.
A 5-day vacation requires one suitcase.
Bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
You can open nearly all your own jars.
Old friends don't give you guff if you've lost or gained weight.
When surfing thru the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying.
You can go to the bathroom alone.
You can leave a hotel room bed unmade without feeling guilty.
You can kill your own food if necessary.
You get brownie points for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
You are showered and ready in 10 minutes.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend.
Your underwear costs $7.50 for a pack of 3.
None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Chocolate is just another snack.
Flowers and/or Duct Tape fix everything.
Three pair of shoes are two more than necessary.
You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
Car mechanics usually tell you the truth.
You can watch a football game in total silence without your buddy thinking: "He must be mad at me."
Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
If you retain water, it is usually in a canteen.
No need to pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the bathroom.
If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't tell your friends you've changed.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you'll probably become lifelong buddies.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
If something mechanical didn't work, you are allowed to bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room, without a family member thinking you've lost your mind.
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