Lizzie feels guilt. As well she should. She is a bad shoe-eating dog. And I know when she's eaten a shoe because she lies on the floor with her head resting on her paws, giving a baleful look, waiting to be fussed at.
So far she has eaten one Saucony sneaker (mine)(the damn things cost about $100 the pair), one Nike sneaker (Nick's)(only about $80 the pair), one Teva (mine)(it was worn, somewhat, but perfectly broken in!)(*gnashing teeth*)TWO! black Rockports (Ben's)(also $80 the pair), countless shoelaces, and countless shoe inserts.
I have been putting my shoes where she can't get them, and here comes the reason she should feel guilty. She likes to curl up under the computer during the day when I am on SI, and then she will get up and go downstairs, and she SNEAKS a shoe-snack as she goes. I have to go see if she's got a shoe, and if I am distracted, then she may even carry it outside.
And then, after she has given in to her bad impulses, guilt sets in. She feels remorse! She feels dread! She knows I will tell her that she is a bad, bad dog!
She's lucky she has the children, who love her unconditionally. |
