<<I see no reason that waiting to have sex, and understanding why, is damaging.>>
Penni, I am in absolute agreement with you. I just don't know how you can MAKE children wait to have sex, because it is private behavior. I also think that everything you have done as a parent (plus all the amazing traits and qualities that children inherit or develop on their own) results in a teenager who is pretty much one way or another, and you have to hope that some of your values and teachings have taken hold.
I would have to lock my child up for several years, or get her fit with a chastity belt, to ensure that she didn't become sexually active, and I think that the result would be so much rebellion that she might escape somehow and do EVERYTHING which children do when they have been reined in too much, to rebel and self destruct. I would much rather have a continuing dialogue with her, where she comes to me for guidance and when she is troubled, and knows (because I tell her frequently) that I do not think being sexually active at 15 is a good idea, but I would much prefer she do that after discussing it with her doctor and understanding all the precautions she would need to take, than hide it from me. I would really prefer that she is openly sexually active, than furtively and dangerously so.
With driving, you control the car keys. So it is slightly different. |
