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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!!

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To: jbe who wrote (43119)7/3/1999 2:47:00 AM
From: Bob Lao-Tse  Read Replies (1) of 108807
 
I fully agree that most adolescents in our society lack the emotional maturity to handle transient sexual relationships -- that's part of my point. I just think that trying to prevent them from having sex is not only impossible, but harmful. We're talking about a basic biological urge that they feel and nothing we can do can make them stop feeling it. All we do now is make them ashamed of it. I think everyone would be better served if we put our efforts into trying to make sure that they do have the necessary emotional maturity when the old hormones start their dance. Because they will, and again, there's absolutely nothing we can do to stop it.

And in a more brutal vein, the only way that one learns how to deal with transient sexual relationships is to have some. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

I agree with the basics of your differentiation between boys and girls, but I would point out that the same difference exists between men and women. Fully mature adult women still often feel unduly pressured to have sex, but at least many of them have learned along the way how to deal with that pressure. I would think that in coping with this situation, those who have a responsible and informed (and dare I say, experienced) view of sex have a significant advantage over those who don't have the faintest notion what it's really all about.

You say that we should let them wait. I agree wholeheartedly. I'm not talking about lining them up and pairing them off like we're going to teach them to dance. Nobody should be coerced into anything. If they want to wait, that's great. I just think that it is genuinely harmful to try to make them wait.
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