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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!!
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To: Bob Lao-Tse who wrote (43273)7/3/1999 9:24:00 AM
From: Rambi  Read Replies (2) of 108807
 
Bob,
I can't disagree with this at all. Perhaps I confused someone else's argument about sex at 13 with what you were saying? THere is no way, imho, a 13 year old is emotionally or physically ready for sex, particularly a female and emotionally, I don't feel either sex is. I had the impression from your first post that you were advocating a sort of libertine free for all.

I do find your idea of teaching "emotional maturity for sex" confusing. To me that comes with overall emotional maturity. A good parent is guiding a child from Day One toward this and I don't differentiate between types of maturity. If you mean that they need to have all the facts, that they are made aware of the problems and complications attendant to the sex act, then I agree. But I guess I don't see how you GIVE them maturity. Perhaps you are just saying that it is silly to think we can stop two eager, hormonally charged teens in love, and I would say amen. But I still don't think that recommending abstinence is damaging, particularly if it is taught within the context of reasonable choices and not as a religious mandate.

Personal note: When my older son's first serious relationship ended last year, he said to us that he was extremely glad they had not had sex as it would have made it much, much harder and more painful.
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